Re: IMPOTENCE at 19


Written by John C at 05 Aug 2000 08:07:46:

As an answer to: IMPOTENCE at 19 written by WORRIED DUDE at 31 Jul 2000 05:33:22:

>I appreciate all your comments regarding tight foreskin. But can anybody answer my questions regarding the fact i couldn't get an erection when a girl offered me sex?? I get erections all the time looking at porn, so could I just have been nervous about losing my virginity?

It is not at all uncommon for guys to have performance anxiety, particularly if it's their first time (happened to me when I was 16). There's a perfectly logical explanation.

The nervous system contains two sub-systems — the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic is responsible for such things as fear, the "fight or flight" reaction, and ejaculation; meanwhile, the parasympathetic is responsible for calming and getting things like the digestive muscles to operate. The parasympathetic system is also responsible for causing erections. Since these two systems operate against each other, fear — or an orgasm — can inhibit erections. This is why you tend to lose your erection after ejaculation: orgasm is a big event for the sympathetic nervous system, so when it occurs it basically knocks out the parasympathetic system for a while, causing your erection to go down. It's also why "impotence" (defined as the inability to get an erection on demand) can be a problem in some men — if they get anxious that they won't be able to perform sexually, their sympathetic nervous system dominates, actually making it more difficult for them to get an erection. So, the key to getting an erection is to *relax*.

Now, it's likely that contributing to a sense of anxiety is a concern about your tight foreskin. Keep in mind that there are plenty of guys with various degrees of phimosis who have perfectly acceptable sex.

However, it would be better to resolve the problem in the longer term. You said in the earlier thread you had tried some cream - was this a steroid cream, or something else? In any case, I'd be inclined to follow Nick's advice and get a prescription for some betamethasone.

You won't do any damage to nerve endings by stretching - but don't cause yourself any pain! Also, when washing don't use soap on your penis and make sure you are completely dry before replacing the foreskin. And, try some emollient such as E45 cream to apply to the glans and inner foreskin after you have dried off. Guys who are working on foreskin retraction tend to be more prone to balanitis (inflammation), which may be contributing to any tenderness you are feeling.

Hope this helps

John


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