Re: My step son was almost circumcised this week.

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Written by R J Knight at 11 Aug 2000 16:41:51:

As an answer to: Re: My step son was almost circumcised this week. written by Josie at 10 Aug 2000 02:57:37:

Josie, it sounds as if the Brazilian doctor was set to "con" the boy's grandparents into having him "done" strictly for the money the doctor expected to get for the procedure. It seems to me you would be well advised to take the boy to your NIH practitioner who in all likelihood will find nothing whatever wrong with him, which should set his mind at rest. It's been some years since I last visited Brazil, but based on my observations there very few Brazilians are circumcised, unless they've recently undergone an orgy of it in response to the HIV-AIDS epidemic. (One of my Brazilian hosts most ungraciously joshed me about being circumcised ['Who cut you?'] at the swimming pool even before I'd got my clothes off. He was right, of course, but it was the first time I'd found circumcision considered a valid source of humor.) I'm more horrified by needlessly pulling teeth than by the ill-advised effort to rush into circumcision. I hope the teeth pulled were not permanent teeth. One thing I noted in Brazil was that many (if not most) otherwise attractive young people have a number of permanent teeth missing. I laid this to the excessive sugar consumption common in Brazil, but it didn't cross my mind that it could be a custom there to pull healthy teeth. . . I hope you don't have to send the kid back there; it sounds like a country hazardous to health! Best wishes, RJK.
>>In the US circumcision is frequently the knee jerk answer to any "problem", but it is surprising that would happen in a So. American country. Are many Brazilians circumcised?
>>>My husbands 8 year old boy, who does not live with us, was almost circumcised this week in his native country of Brazil. His grandparents wanted him 'done' because they had noted his foreskin looked tight so they took him to a (private) doctor who said he needed to be circumcised (at a great cost, I might add). We live in Britain and were horrified to find the message from his mother who is working in another country saying for us to ring him in Brazil as he was "going to be circumcised this morning"...so we rang and him and the grandparents were just about to go to the hospital with the little boy. My husband enquired why he was going to be circumcised and the grandfather said because he'd noticed that the boy's foreskin looked tight. We asked if he was in pain, or had an infection or difficulty in urinating and the answer was "no" and the grandfather said not to be silly as he'd had it done and in Brazil it is not even considered an operation etc etc. My husband and him had a blazing row over the phone as we felt he should have been consulted. My husband spoke to the boy who it turns out did not even have an idea what was just about to happen to him...he just thought he was going to the doctor's and was absolutely horrified when his father explained what was going to happen but he also stressed it was HIS choice and his body and in the absence of any problems he should object strongly if he did not want to be circumcised. It was a very difficult situation over the phone so far appart but in the end my husband had to say that he did not give his authorisation for his son to be operated on and that he would not give his permission for him to visit them back in Rio again if it went ahead. We explained that there were alternatives to circumcision (I am a midwife and nurse so I am not unfamiliar with health matters) etc. The boy is now in Britain staying with us for two weeks. I have seen his penis in the bath and spected his foreskin to be completely fused to the glans because the grandparents seemed to think it was so damn urgent. He can completely retract his foreskin but there seems to be a little bit of a thin, ring about a cm down from the glans on his penis which makes it look very slightly constricted. There is no pain whatsoever on retraction and there is no tightness on the frenulum. He has never suffered from balanitis either. My own 13 year old son incidentally had balanitis a couple of times as a young child but with some hydrocortisone cream the problem cleared up and he is fine now. I also seem to remember that his penis was similarly, slightly constricted when his foreskin was pulled back but as I said he is now fine. Obviously I need to know urgently if this is a problem, although my inmediate reaction and his dad's was one of relief when we realised he could put the foreskin back so easily and painlessly but we have his mother now arguing that if he has not problem why did this surgeon want to operate in Brazil so hastily?. My husband and I are convinced that it is all because of the money he would be paid. Strangely enough the boy also showed us 3 perfectly healthy teeth that the dentist had pulled out over there because they were slightly wobbly and he could not "otherwise put fluoride in the rest of the teeth"...for that the grandparents were charged an exhorbitant ammount of money too...it all seems to me quite barbaric, unnecessary and incredible. The boy was even given the teeth inside an tooth shaped holder to hang around his neck! (FOR REAL!!) and said that he did not get an anaesthetic and it hurt like hell!. I have read all about the Betamethasone cream etc but I don't even know if he really needs that!. His dad just thinks he looks like a normal boy and that his penis should be just left alone. I think the boy feels now that there is something 'wrong' with him and he says he was most upset and embarrassed about the doctor in Brazil handling his penis. The other side of the family wants us to take him to a paediatrician here but I am loath to do that and increase the feeling for him that there is really something wrong.
>>>Sorry to ramble on but this has been so upsetting for us.
>>>thank you
>>>Josie
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>I don't know to be honest but I do know that any kind of private operation costs a lot of money and my feelings tell me that was the driving force behind the decision for the doctor...