|A man`s intimacy with his own body, reflects in any and every intimate
A man's ability to develop a healthy intimate relationship with
the opposite sex is based to a large extent on his intimate relationship
with his own body. If an individual avoids the discomfort or difficulty
associated with his essential physical manhood, his experience of what
defines him as man is mixed with avoidance, how can he develop a realistic
sense of being a man? This inevitably generates an element of nervousness
in any intimate contact.
If the man believes that "I am normal" it is a perfectly
logical consequence for him to project the problem on his parents,
or his girlfriends.
(Again I realise many people may be anxious
or nervous about sex for many other complicated psychological reasons;
here we are discussing the functionality of the erection when it is
impaired, a simple anatomical fact of life which has been overlooked
and a number of fully unnecessary extra problems which could have been
The penis being touched by another person is an area which will often
cause problems. If a fear of touching has developed through
other pre-puberty experiences (e.g. mother never touching - mother
touching too much) then the condition will confirm this fear.
relationships will be more successful with women who are not interested
in touching or playing with the man`s penis. (One young man who was
aware of painful frenulum without realising there was a cure, adapted
his behaviour by simply telling girl friends not to touch him there).
As a way of gaining integrity in one`s image of self and the world;
a fair number of those with such inhibitng conditions believe they
are never meant to marry or have intercourse. The feeling of not wanting
sex before marriage or even never being meant to have sex is frequently
expressed. Mutual love and trust are especially important pre-requisites
in order to be relaxed in intimate contact. Even when emotional trust
is available, sex would tend to be at some sort of distance, for example
masturbation and voyeurism.