The most important think at first.
I've changed my status, and at this moment I'm sitting in front
of my computer and feel a little discomfort in my trousers.
And that's because a was circumcised three days ago! Yes, it's true.
I still cannot believe it but I've done it.
It looks very bad, just like a ICE from the Deutsche Bahn AG rolled
over it. But the medical doctors told me to relax, in one or two weeks
I should be able to recognize my penis again ;-)
I started to write a diary and I'm sending you the first parts (I've
wrote them for the "circlist") (An american friend of mine helped me
to write that, so don't wonder why this and the following text sound
so different - I think my english is worse than your german)
That's all for today,
"2 days before"
Just two more days to go. Thursday is nearing and so the day of
my circumcision. I've been getting really nervous these past few days.
On one side I'm really looking forward to finally getting my dire wishes
fulfilled. One the other hand I'm VERY worried about the actual procedure
(pain?) and also the final outcome.
As promised I will keep you all informed about my plans and progress.
Let me briefly recap a bit of my own personal history concerning my
decision to become circumcised.
As stated here many times, it is very uncommon for Germans to be
circumcised. When I was born in the 60s, my parents left me intact.
In infancy it is normal that the foreskin remains unretractable. Any
adhesions usually don't loosen until the age of 2-3. As I entered elementary
school at the age of 5, the school physician found that my foreskin
was still unretractable.
Later, my mother took me to the pediatrician
and I had one of the most painful experiences of my life. The doctor
sat me down on the examination table and examined my little penis and
its immobile foreskin. He then called for 2 nurses which held me down
by force as the doctor attempted to brutally stretch the opening in
my foreskin. The worst moment was when he used a scalpel to make a
little incision in my frenulum. No anaesthetic was used and as you
can imagine the pain that little Albert had to endure was immense.
The doctor told my mother that my foreskin would have to be retracted
and stretched daily but after a few days my mother gave up because
I couldn't bear the pain and kept on crying. So, any treatment was
forgotten and I continued to grow up with my phimosis.
During puberty I noticed that my foreskin remained unretractable,
but in its flaccid state I looked just like the other boys in my class.
By the time I was 17 and had my medical exam for military service,
I was once again reminded of my condition and that something needed
to be done to remedy the situation. Over the years I had developed
a certain 'inferiority complex' because I was unable to retract my
foreskin like healthy men could. BTW, I never had a problem masturbating
or with infections. However, I had decided that it was time to take
steps to fix the problem.
So, I finally decided, with great despair, to go visit a urologist.
He recommended to fix my phimosis in the hospital on an outpatient
basis. Right before entering the operating room I saw my name on the
board, along with the word 'circumcision'. Of course I had educated
myself beforehand about the subject and knew what that word meant.
The best one of these book specifically warned against a complete circumcision
in the case of phimosis. It said that the sensitivity of the glans
would be reduced significantly by such a procedure and of course I
did not want that to happen to me (interesting, especially since I
had never seen or directly felt my glans ;-).
I discussed this with the attending surgeons, but, at first, they
insisted that only a complete circumcision would cure me and that if
anything less was performed I would be back in less than a year to
have it fixed again. But I was insistent and so the surgeon removed
only the skin at the tip of the foreskin, just enough to allow me to
retract the foreskin easily. The first few days after the operation
were uncomfortable but after a few days it was really interesting to
be able to retract my foreskin for the first time and see my own glans.
The next few years went by without the predicted need for a recircumcision.
When flaccid my penis looked just like any other uncut penis, but when
erect, the circumcision scar was visible (but then again, it is difficult
to tell if someone is circumcised or not when erect).
Over the past few years I started asking myself if my initial decision
was correct (i.e. NOT to be completely circumcised) and I felt like
I was the most loosely circumcised man in the world. During masturbation
and sex I found that it felt better to hold my foreskin tightly back,
simply because it was more stimulating and made me feel much better.
This is the reason that I developed a profound interest in the subject
of circumcision and eventually joined CIRCLIST.
After years of I-wish-I would-but-never-had-the-guts-to-do-it, I
finally decided to bite the bullet and have the procedure done.
Now, with 48 hours to go (and counting), it's like a upcoming visit
to the dentist: no matter how great the pain, at the time of the actual
visit the pain is gone. I have never appreciated my foreskin as much
as I have over the past few days. But, of course, cancellation is not
an option, as I would probably regret it next week.
At this point I would like to thank everyone who has written to
me in support! Even though I was a bit disappointed that only 5 people
have answered David's call to send me encouraging notes.
Those who have been following my personal history can perhaps understand
why I am a little scared (or is that 'scarred' ;-). Keep your fingers
crossed for me on Thursday. If all goes well, I will try to continue
my circumcision diary soon.
2 days after
Since March 6th I have finally changed my circumcision status!!!
As you can imagine I'm not feeling too great yet, but I will try
to give a brief description of my experience:
As stated earlier, the operation was performed under general anethesia.
During the pre-op consultation, I discussed with the doctor exactly
where to place the circumcision scar and how much skin to remove. I
also ensured that the frenulum would be completely removed.
Unfortunately, I cannnot yet verify whether my wishes were actually
followed exactly, since I'm still wearing my initial bandage. To anyone
wishing to be circumcised, be prepared for a pretty ugly post-operative
look. My penis is looking pretty bad right now. There is a lot (a lot
lot!!) of swelling and discoloration ranging from black to purple all
over. This is probably due to the fact that a freehand circumcision
was performed as opposed to using a Gomco or Plastibell. But I can
only recommend the freehand technique to anyone, since the surgeon
can much more easily follow the exact wishes of the patient.
According to the surgeon, one of the operating room nurses made
a remark about using the huge amount of foreskin removed to fashion
a leather wallet :-).
Contrary to my earlier fears, there is very little post-operative
pain (except for occasional erections). The only uncomfortable thing
is that the area around the removed frenulum is still oozing and bleeding
slightly. The doctor said that this is normal and probably due to the
lymphatic system readjusting to the new situation. I just have to constantly
remind myself that the wound is only 48 hrs old and I hope (!) that
my penis will not look like this forever. The initial bandage will
come off later this evening and I'm looking forward to seeing a bit
more detail then.