I want to give you my heartfelt thanks for putting together the
website about the problems of the foreskin of the penis. I was circumcised
(as I thought, until now) when I was around 1 1/2 years old, and recently,
while undergoing talk-therapy with a psychologist I discovered how
bad I really felt about that. That made me search for information about
circumcision on the internet.
However, talking with my mother, I learned that I was not circumcised,
just 'cut' as she put it, bc they (my parents and my child doctor)
where nervous about the fact that they could not force the foreskin
over the head. I guess what the operation she mentioned must have been
a Dorsal Slit, or Partial circumcision. I am not sure about which one,
as my head is completely uncovered, and have been that way for as long
as I can remember ( I am 30 years). Still I have problems believing
I was not fully circumcised. Jugding >from what my mother have told
me, I guess I had Phimosis. I will go to a urologist to get an accurate
Reading the information provided by you on the internet really enlightened
me. I am understanding more and more how this operation probably affected
me and my feelings of secureness and confidence and being a normal
healthy male since I was a little kid. I feel mutilated, and I feel
as if I am not whole. I also have some problems feeling like a real
man, and following my male instincts. I also have a deep and hidden
resentment for my mother, which I realized I have had since early childhood,
possibly connected to this operation. It's a fucking shit!! I feel
really bad about that.
Circumcision should be the last possible way out. It can be very
traumatic for a little kid. For not to speak about the loss of the
protection of the foreskin and the significant decrease in the sensitivity
in the head, and the loss of special nerves cut away with the foreskin.
Thanks a lot for making the information available. It really helped
me understand more about myself.
I see no reason for an operation so early, soft phimosis should
stretch, and if only a simple dissolving agent was used on the adhesions
then the child could stretch his own foreskin -- still with the cultural
info. on the subject no individual parent or doctor can be blamed for
anything, ... the info is the problem, ... I feel one of the biggest
problem are the two opposed anti and pro circumcision groups on this
modern information network, with both spouting diametrically opposed
opinions its hardly suprising that other people get confused.
Practically the entire human race has problems following sexual
instincts, -- I am obviously more concerned with male side of this,
there is a tremendous pressure on young men to be passive active sensitive
hard, etc. etc. and no due cultural attention to the anatomical fact
of life which makes them male .. the erection. --- our culture believe
that such considerations are all of a psychological nature -- which
puts ridiculous extra presure on men who do in fact have anatomical
My problem is this, I have talked with men who were circumcised
during infancy and they don't feel it as a mutilation, I have heard
from others on line who say it is a mutilation, ---- could this difference
depend on how the operation was done? ---- either the psychological
preparation and attitude was wrong, e.g. maybe you were treated as
a problem - even that somehow the foreskin problem was your fault.
On the other hand a quick botched operation with e.g. too much skin
cut off ... this is a mutilation
But what I noticed was this:
>they (my parents and my child doctor) were nervous
>about the fact that they could not force the foreskin over the head.
Trying to force the foreskin back will always be a traumatic experience,
and this coupled with a nervous uncertain worry from the adults round
you, will certainly leave scars on the personality ... and it seems
to me more pertinent than anything you say over the actual operation.
So - You're obviously going through a questioning phase, I'd be
intereted to hear more if you uncover any other long lost memory ...
Cheers and thank a lot for the letter.