FRENULAR INHIBITIONS

Hi

I had a difficult time in my teens not having the faintest idea what should happen about foreskin retraction. It was a taboo subject with parents and unless one was extrovert it was not discussed among my peers. Looking back I believe that part of my difficulty was due to a very short thick frenulum.

If I can be of any help with my experience I am willing.

Let me know.

Tony

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Hello Tony,

Well that’s a very nice offer. I believe you are exactly on the same lines as me. It is still a taboo subject and if in your experience only extroverts talk about it – the point is that men with painful and troublesome foreskins are not likely to be sexually extroverted …

I believe an account of your experience would be helpful. I could put this online with all the other accounts, which I hope someday doctors and others interested might read, and generally slowly wake the medical profession up to the necessity of greater education and health care in this matter.

It is ridiculous that so many young men have problems with their first sexual encounters purely due to such a simple to cure anatomical problem.

So please write me about your memories and experiences – I want to know more about this:

“I had a difficult time in my teens not having the faintest idea what should happen about foreskin retraction. It was a taboo subject with parents and unless one was extrovert it was not discussed among my peers. Looking back I believe that part of my difficulty was due to a very short thick frenulum.”

I and maybe the whole world at some future point would greatly appreciate knowing more about this …. Every little bit helps.

Cheers
Robin

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Robin

Encouraged by your e-mail, I have attempted to compose a short account of my experiences in the frenulum/foreskin department.

My earliest memories of discomfort in that area go back to quite an early age, probably about 6 or 7. The occasional erections that used to occur, often when travelling on a bus, felt as if there was not enough foreskin to accommodate the increased dimensions. My parents were aware of this and were kind, if embarrassed by my discomfort. My father's advice stayed with me for years, which was 'the more you touch it, the longer it will stay stiff - so leave it alone and it will soon go down'.

My mother decided to take me to see the school doctor (a weird, mannish woman) who seized hold of my unsuspecting willy, tried unsuccessfully to force the skin back and told my mother 'he needs to be done'. Fortunately my parents decided against this course and I was spared the knife.

With the onset of puberty my sexual awareness was always tempered with my father's advice and I resisted the desire to masturbate in the conventional way. When the need for relief became overwhelming I used to lie on my front and bring myself to orgasm without actually using my hands; this I felt honoured my father's instructions. Consequently by the time I was about 15, my penis was fully developed but the foreskin overhung by about half an inch when flaccid and barely revealed the tip of the glans when erect. Erections were increasingly uncomfortable because of this tightness and I continued to masturbate by the tried method as often as I dared, fearing the awful consequences of doing that too much!

I was unable to discuss the subject with my parents or my friends - it was taboo. There were one or two extrovert boys who would occasionally mention the subject of erections and make boastful claims when we were changing for PE or swimming, but I was not a part of this group and remained silent, hiding my nakedness.

It was not until I was 19 that all was suddenly and dramatically revealed to me. I know the year because it was during my period of National Service and we had been doing a lot of running in PE kit. I went home on leave and was enjoying the luxury of a soak in a hot bath. Feeling totally relaxed I found I was getting an erection and noticed that a quantity of blue fluff from my PE shorts was visible under my foreskin. I was washing this out with the soap when suddenly the whole scenario changed. My foreskin rolled right back, revealing the whole shiny glans for the first time in my life.

Two things were quickly apparent. 1) while the erection continued, the foreskin still felt stretched and inadequate and 2) as the erection began to subside, the foreskin would not return to cover the glans. In the following days, no degree of coaxing could get the foreskin back. The newly exposed glans was so sensitive to clothing that I had to wrap it in a soft handkerchief before getting dressed, for a week or so.

I was appalled at the 'damage' I thought I had done to myself, but gradually I became accustomed to the new situation. Erections were still very uncomfortable and the feeling of not enough skin persisted.

A few years later I got married and the joys of sex seemed to outweigh the discomforts. My wife has always been very helpful and understanding and we raised three children. But from time to time I used to wonder if there was anything that could be done to lessen my discomfort. Then a few years ago I heard about Norm-UK and reasoned that if a circumcised person could restore a foreskin that had been cut off, surely I could do something about improving my intact condition. I got in touch with them and received a lot of help and encouragement about gently stretching the foreskin. Now I can proudly say that after about five years I have a foreskin that covers about 80% of my glans, and stays in place, when flaccid.

Looking at the sequence of events and how my equipment looks today, I believe that my frenulum was the cause of the problem. It is about 2mm thick and anchored in a deep channel in my glans, starting about 1.5cm from the 'pee hole'. When erection takes place there still seems to be only just enough foreskin to go round and this retracts completely down the shaft, taking the frenulum with it as far as it can. The frenulum does not distort the erection, but the whole thing feels under strain. When erect, my glans is very much greater in girth than the shaft which may explain in part why in teenage the foreskin would not roll back easily. In the past, on routine examination of my equipment, the assumption has been made that I have been circumcised.

That is my account of how I see things. I would prefer to remain anonymous if that is possible - but maybe you need names, so Tony is OK. I hope it will be of help to young men in the future. Let me know if you need any more details and I will be happy to provide what I can. Best wishes in your research dossier.

Tony

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Hello Tony,

On reading your account, I realise you seem to have stretched your
foreskin enough to accomodate the short frenulum, but actually the
frenulum is still too short. It seems to me that this is the cause of
any difficulty and in fact while your foreskin feels a lot better now,
the basic problem is still there.

I want to comment as well about old age when most men suffer a
tightening and shrinking of the skin and this leads to renewed
problems, with lots of operations around age 70, so I am suggesting
that maybe in old age you may eventually need to get it treated.

I would suggest with so many easy cures that you should have a frenulum
operation, ... all forms of frenuloplasty are easy, but the easiest
must be tying the frenulum and this is explained on Harmen's Pages in the Photo Gallery
take a look and tell me your thoughts.

Then two little bits from your letter which confuse me

> In the past, on
> routine examination of my equipment, the assumption has been made
> that I have been circumcised.

this simply seems strange, why on earth should anyone assume this?

> I was washing this out with
> the soap when suddenly the whole scenario changed. My foreskin
> rolled right back, revealing the whole shiny glans for the first
> time in my life.
> Two things were quickly apparent. ...
> 2) as the erection began to subside, the foreskin would not return
> to cover the glans. In the following days, no degree of coaxing
> could get the foreskin back. ...
> I was appalled at the 'damage' I thought I had done to myself,
> but gradually I became accustomed to the new situation.

surely after some time you were able to return the foreskin to its
forward position? ...

still, these are my comments and thoughts.

Thank you very much for your account, I will post it on the forum of
collected letters. Doesnt it boggle the mind how and why such things
are not checked and treated before puberty ... it would be so simple.

cheers
robin

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Hello Robin,

I have taken a look at the frenuplasty tying operation. While it may be relatively simple, I think I will not go for it unless the pressure to do so becomes considerably greater. Thank you for the information, it does seem the best of the options.

As to why qualified urologists should make the mistake of thinking I am circumcised, I can only guess. One reason may be due to problems with language, another possibility is that during examination I have become partly erect and my foreskin has rolled right back. Or even that I have been requested to roll back. Once that has happened it usually needs firm manipulation to bring the foreskin back to cover the glans, where it will usually remain for most of the day. One urologist even tried to suggest that I had been circumcised as a baby and I would have no memory of it! I pointed out to that individual that I had already told him of my experience as a 19-year old and that I had absolutely no scars from circumcision.

In reply to your last question, once I had failed to get the covering back in the days following, I had no idea at the time that it might ever be remotely possible to return the foreskin to its forward position. The difference in diameter between the glans corona and the shaft below, even when flaccid, seemed quite incompatible. All I thought of was that I had done something awful and that my action would remain a visible sign of that wickedness! Most of all I feared my father finding out accidentally, as nearly happened when once I was taken ill at home and he helped me to bed. Looking back I doubt he would have done more than privately wonder, but the anxiety was very real.

As you say, we were completely ignorant in those situations and we had nowhere to turn for help, especially when we were reticent about such matters.

Best wishes in your work - I am sure it will be of value.

Tony