[ ARC forum 2 ]

Re: Erection problem

Written by Paul B. at 02 Apr 2001 14:03:18:

As an answer to: Erection problem...HELP written by Guzo at 01 Apr 2001 18:37:31:

>I get erected ONLY when my gf touches the pennis...

But you go on to say that you manage quite well if you touch yourself
to masturbate.

> so EVEN if I see Pamela Anderson ahead of me then it's still flaccid

Perhaps if you see Pammy your mind says "Dow Corning"! Mine does!

> So my gf has to touch it or maybe oral sex to get me erected...

Those things are pretty hard to ignore!

> What I THINK is that the problem is on my mind!! right??

It sounds a bit that way. I'm going to say for starters that you
probably should see a doctor to 1} get your testosterone level checked
- most unlikely to be a problem at 22 however, and 2} be assessed to
see if you are suffering from depression which condition definitely
lowers your sex drive for both masturbation and intercourse (and no,
too much of the first is *most* unlikely to put you off the second).

> I am not a robot! so I can't command my body!

Quite so.

> I know that your advices should be very simple such as : DON'T THINK
> ABOUT IT!

No, that's the wrong approach. You may have to consider possible
conflicts arising from the opportunity to have intercourse with your
girlfriend, including whether you are absolutely and completely sure
that it will not lead to her pregnancy, whether you are reconciled you
morally should be doing so, whether you have unresolved concerns about
sexually-transmitted diseases or simply the degree of commitment
expected in the relationship.

Anxiety about any of these things could be "putting you off" and
trying to ignore the concern (or use alcohol to "help" you do so) will
not fix it - if this is the case, you have to deal with the problem
itself, such as making sure about contraception.

Beyond that, the only thing to do is not to *ignore* the problem, but
to make a point of maximising what you do enjoy about the encounters
and *accept* that you can enjoy yourself without penetration. This
relieves stress and the stress of being unable to "perform" can itself
cause the problem. Don't expect or bank on an "instant" cure.

> A friend of mine who works on a pharmacy told me to bring me royal
> jelly

...which shows that his job is selling royal jelly.

> I have no problem to take anything that would help! (not VIAGRA!
> lol)

LOL? Fact is, Viagra is the *only* thing that *would* permit you to
keep an erection even if your body is only "half-hearted" about it.

> So if I want to be ok do u think that I would take a calm pill or a
> stimulatory pill?

Then you have a mind that is dependent on pills. That is something you
do not want under any circumstances (unless as I suggested earlier,
a competent doctor assesses that you really do suffer depression, and
really do need specific medication for that).

> P.S . I think that if I go to a doc. then I will convince my problem
> that I have problem and maybe it will get worse!

There are good docs and bad ones.


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