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Re: Exposing the glans: potential problems?

Written by Paul B. at 26 Apr 2001 13:24:46:

As an answer to: Exposing the glans: potential problems? written by Tye at 26 Apr 2001 08:14:25:

> My glans is too sensitive and I can't penetrate a vagina because of
> it.

I have come to believe that the answer to this is: "Well now you know
how a girl feels!". I shall explain . . .

> If I grit my teeth and persist, the pain will make me lose my
> erection.

What for you is an erection, for the girl is lubrication. A girl really
needs to get "wet" before she has intercourse. If she's wearing undies,
there should be a sticky, damp patch on them, and if she's not, then
you should have got a sticky, damp hand when you felt her there!

Point is, if she's not wet, it's likely to make her sore and the more
sore she gets, the less likely she is to get or stay wet, and so it
gets worse instead of better.

Now, in your case, if she was both wet and relaxed, your penis would
probably be able to slip in without the foreskin retracting, but if she
is not wet, and tenses up, the only way you can get in is by being wet
(lubricated) inside your foreskin and letting your foreskin unfurl as
the wet part goes in.

> I am uncircumsised and my whole life I have kept my glans behind the
> foreskin.

Even when masturbating, eh?

> It's only recently that I have started sexual activity and realised
> that the foreskin can retract so much!

And your girlfriend is new to it too? That may (but not necessarily)
mean she's not quite used to getting wet, or at least is nervous and
inhibited about being fully aroused with you and as part of the
nervousness is holding her vagina particularly tight (there's a medical
term for it).

> Then I find out that my glans is so sensitive that I can't even
> thrust my penis forward.

Even slowly? Very slowly? Guys, especially young but plenty older also,
often think intercourse is all about madly thrusting as fast as possible.
That's simply called being in too much of a hurry. There is no reason
you can't tackle is slowly. Ask your girlfriend if she really expects
you to go fast, or does she just like you being there? No hurry.

> Even fellatio gives me more discomfort than pleasure.

Tell me, what does she say when you do the same to her? If you lick
her clitoris directly as the first thing - does she say "Oooh, harder!",
or does she actually say "Oh, gentle, gentle!"? What I am pointing out
is that most girls are extremely sensitive in the same place, so you
should not be at all surprised that you are and it is really normal.

> So on the advice of a friend, I am trying to expose my glans
> fulltime to decrease it's sensitivity.

Fascinating how people always have to go to extremes! That's almost
the same advice as saying you need to be circumcised, because then it
would get used to being exposed (yes it would, very fast, and with
maximum discomfort in the process, and lose a lot of the sensitivity you
likely wanted).

> However, I've noticed that the corona of the glans is turning blue
> at the end of the day

It's getting cold!

> and I can see veins underneath.

That's because it is used to being covered, and delicate.

> So my question is, what are the potential problems that can arise if
> I try retracting my foreskin twenty four hours a day and exposing my
> glans?

I would surmise that it would become less and less sensitive, perhaps
too insensitive eventually.

Point is, you don't need to do it. You do need to get your glans used
to being exposed when it needs to, not all the time. Just make a point
of retracting (fully) when you pee, when you shower, and whatever other
time it is appropriate (which is a subtle way of saying, when you
masturbate, not necessarily to orgasm).

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if your girlfriend is new to it and
you are new to it you can keep trying, but you really need to get some
"personal lubricant" from the pharmacy (drugstore, supermarket etc.)
and put it on your glans and some in her. I suspect you'll then find it is
no longer too sore, and you really like it being stroked.

Oh, you didn't mention using a condom, did you? How do you know it's
safe not to? And by the way, if fellatio is too rough on you, try that
with a condom (unlubricated, or perhaps flavoured, but you might also
try lubricant inside only if you aren't wet at the time).


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