[ ARC forum 2 ]

Re: Foreplay time

Written by dermo at 22 Sep 2001 21:44:24:

As an answer to: Foreplay time written by Paul B. at 22 Sep 2001 13:15:14:

I know this query is off topic for the board but I can't let it go.
Firstly there is no correct time for any sexual activity to start or end. To be more precise the start and end of any activity is when you and your partner decide and chose to start and end it. To put it another way, don't ask the internet, ask the lady.
All sexual activity should proceed by mutual agreement and if you need to ask this question it might be better to try and improve your level of communcation with your partner about basic sexual 'mechanics', What feels good and what each likes to do, and likes the other to do. This may be awkward if you are not used to speaking frankly about sex, but this level of discussion can increase the joy of shared sexual experience and I believe it builds a depth of trust and respect essential for the survival of a long term sexual relationship.
Every person is different and every relationship is different. If such talk is not part of your chat be sensitive to your partners self-esteem when broaching these subjects. You can start along the lines of " I really like it when you do that.. ", or a murmer of "that feels good.." or "Do you want me inside you.. ". This should not be allowed to go the disastrous route of presenting your partner with a list of what you consider their sexual failings. Remember you are an equal partner, not a driving instructer with a scoreboard for right and wrong gearchanges time to warm up the engine, and parking manouvres. It can be just as difficult to be honest about your own desires for fear of seeming critical or demanding but once again sensitivity to your partner is everything.
At it's best sex is whatever you and your partner want and agree to do together. Finding a way to answer this question is one of the greatest challenges and joys of an intimate sexual and human relationship.


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