[ ARC forum 2 ]
Written by Richard at 27 Nov 2001 15:36:20: Re: stressed
As an answer to: stressed written by Mick at 27 Nov 2001 10:39:23:
>hi ppls, maybe u can help me. I have a long foreskin, pulls back when soft but when hard it goes back with some effort but bunches up around the base of the head.Then goes back over on its own, wont stay.The head is very sensitive, can I de-sensitise it ? Im 21 and a virgin. Also I wonder, how can I receive oral sex. The foreskin is hard to get back and wont stay there, head is extremely sensitive and I also have performance anxiety. thanks in advance for any help.
Hi Mick
Paul B. has said most of what's necessary to say. But I'll just add my tuppence worth.
First of all, it sounds like you've built the problem up in your mind to the extent that you're telling yourself "this isn't ever going to get better, what can I possibly do to change things?"
Well, the answer is partly psychological and partly physical. You *can* change your foreskin so it behaves how you'd like it to. I've done it and so have lots of the other people here. Probably a majority will tell you it's better to stretch the skin rather than go for anything more radical like surgery. I've stretched my foreskin partly by myself and partly by having sex with an understanding girlfriend. Admittedly I should have done the stretching first but that's another story :-) Anyway, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin, I waited until I was 22. And you *can* have a blow job with an unstretched foreskin - you just have to explain carefully what to do (i.e. not to force it back) which I think is quite sexy in itself!
Stretching: just be patient with yourself, and do it every day. I did it in the bath when the skin is all soft and pliable. Look back over the earlier messages here to see Paul B.'s links to photos. It might take a couple of months, or even longer, but it'll be worth it. And part of it will be relief that you don't have to have a doctor take a knife to your bits.
I know from experience what a psychological obstacle this can be, but trust me, it can get better!
Richard