[ ARC forum 2 ]

Re: I need some advice, Please Help Me !

Written by Paul B. at 19 Dec 2001 19:49:18:

As an answer to: Re: I need some advice, Please Help Me ! written by Arron at 19 Dec 2001 01:54:53:

> I have a problem in pulling my foreskin back. I seem to have to much foreskin,

I'm fascinated by this observation "too much foreskin" - surely if you cannot stretch your foreskin back over the head, then at least in diameter it is more a matter of "too little foreskin"?

> I can only see just the very top of my head.

Point noted, it is not stretching wide enough.

> I have tried sex and it has been very painful at times.

That unfortunately tells little. What do you mean by "sex"; exactly what particular activity caused pain, and exactly which part of your penis experienced the pain? Does masturbation hurt in any way and how might you avoid it hurting that might be applicable to intercourse? Since you have erections every night (and for quite a significant time), you are most unlikely to have pain merely from an erection.

> The hole is not even a cm wide,

Better than no hole - at least you can see your penis head if only in part.

> after sex and masterbation the hole seems to get larger but not that much.

Interesting. And encouraging.

Jim says:

> You can rest a bit. There's no emergency here,

That is very true. No hurry to do anything.

> If you can find a SMOOTH device just a bit larger than the opening,

This seems to be a critical concept that is comparatively recent in the management of this problem. I feel it has tremendous potential - I shall mention why further on.

> Perhaps, it might be the cap from a pen at this time.

Have you a "junk box" at home? Old, dried out felt-tipped pens? The caps from these are likely to be a suitable size, but might need to be cut short for convenience. They are often tapered - you want the wider part of the taper to go inward, against the penis head, so that the tightness pushes it inward rather than outward - it will sit against the penis head (uncomfortable at first, but it will get used to it, indeed it will need to get used to some degree of contact with the "outside world" whatever you do to uncover it.

> Everytime you relieve yourself, pull back on the skin as far as it will go without pain.

Actually, if you find some stretching "device", and it is hollow through the middle(, the end cut off the cap for example), you should be able to "pee" straight through it without removing it, though you should at least remove and wash it thoroughly daily, and see that it is not pressing too much on any particular area.

> Try these exercises faithfully every single day for the next two months.

Nothing will happen unless you do it regularly, and as long as necessary. Your skin is supposed to resist stretching unless the stretch is continuous, which is the signal for the skin to grow to accommodate to the size of the remainder of the body.

> The key to this is not hurting yourself, but being diligent.

Absolutely!

You replied:

> Jim, ... Did you know this from experience?

He sure does!

> I was reading the information on this website

I have to say that the information connected with this forum site is at best "idiosyncratic". You need to use considerable care in assessing all information, particularly on the Internet where there is no professional or public review process.

> they seem to recommend ... only see a very small part of the head ... should have ... a full circumcision.

This has been conventional medical practice until recently. It is based on two presumptions, neither of which however stands up to careful examination. The first is that the foreskin is not useful. Your experience however proves that wrong because you have stated that sex caused you pain. Now, why would it? Well, presumably because in attempting to enter your girlfriend, she was not sufficiently lubricated (not ready, and therefore not wet) to allow your penis to slip in without dragging your foreskin back in the process. Alternatively, she may simply have been too tight (not relaxed).

Either case demonstrates the important function of a foreskin that will roll back because having it do so provides a means to "slip" your penis in and indeed to continue to roll it in and out as intercourse requires. If she is well lubricated (requires foreplay), or you may choose to use an artificial lubricant, then even if you have a foreskin that does not pull back, it will slip in and out and whilst less than optimum, you can have enjoyable sex.

The second presumption behind circumcision is that stretching does not work, or work "well enough". The primary reason for this is exemplified by the poster "AJ" who as you see loves to "chip in" here, saying that whilst you can try stretching, you should expect that it does not work and consider seeing a doctor and having a circumcision if he suggests one. The point is that that is what he did, and he did not even attempt the stretching at all - that is the extent of his experience.

So of course, for those who didn't try stretching, it didn't work, and most of the "naysayers" are in this category. Others tried for a limited time and didn't see any result. Once you see a result, even a little result, you realise it does work and then you only have to persist until you achieve the desired result.

> I have seen pictures of it and its doesnt look to pretty,

Actually, there are pictures on this site of a "dorsal slit" which is at last resort, the more sensible option than circumcision, but may not look as pretty either. It is simply a cut on the topside of the foreskin, made so it can be pulled back, but without removing any (significant amount) of the foreskin so it will then function as I just described. This is said to look odd, but the most likely reasons it is practiced less than circumcision are that circumcision is mostly performed as a deliberate "cosmetic" mutilation like a tattoo or a nose ring (or various others ;-) where the blatant appearance is the ultimate aim, and that it attracts a much higher surgical fee (since it does more damage) than a dorsal slit.

> I feel that maybe stretching will not solve my problem entirely,
> will the skin eventually go over the whole of my head?

Why not? What works once, generally works again. Did your skin ever stop growing at some part of your development? Are people limited in how fat they can get by the tightness of their skin? Do women with large boobs never get droopy?

You certainly should understand the need to keep on stretching until your foreskin is as loose as you need it to be, and then keep it stretched for a couple of months so that it gets "used" to that size. We now feel that a "device" is the best, certainly the fastest, way to do this - the (probably) ultimate device to get and hold the foreskin to a useful diameter appears to be a plastic film canister - if you have one handy, go look at it and you will see that when you can get your foreskin to fit over this, it will be pretty well the right size.

The interesting thing is, as I have mentioned in other posts (go read them all!), stretching is used by doctors ("plastic" surgeons) for many purposes, so any doctor who says "stretching doesn't work" is actually showing considerable lack of competence.

> I just cant stop thinking about it.

Naturally. Time to search your family junk box!


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