[ ARC forum 2 ]
Written by Jim at 10 Jan 2002 06:39:38: Re: Boyfriend's phimosis...
As an answer to: Re: Boyfriend's phimosis... written by GW at 10 Jan 2002 03:28:19:
>>My boyfriend is 37, and his foreskin only retracts when his penis is flaccid. And getting it to retract looks very uncomfortable; although he never complains. He can never have intercourse until ejaculation because his penis will go limp before it is over. Getting him to ejaculate takes a very, very long time. I feel that if he either tried stretching creams, or considered a circumcision, our sex life would greatly improve, as I have been assured that it is not me. Plus, I would love to be able to see his penis head, and not just the shape underneath the tight skin. He is very self conscious about his penis and previous attempts at discussing it have proven nonproductive. He went to a lousy urologist earlier this year who told him that "he had excessive skin, and surgery would most likely take sensation away from the area, and that it wasn't necessary." I guess I am confused by the myriad of articles I am reading on the subject suggesting phimosis (especially in adults) is a problem and treatment should be considered. I truly believe he would enjoy sex more and that his erection would maintain; where can I direct him for questions? Do I have a right to be concerned?
>>M.
>I also had this very problem and thought i had phimosis fortunatly i was able to see a very good and understanding urologist.
>As his foreskin retracts when flaccid but not when erect he may be suffering from frenulum breve as i did.
>I had a simple operation called a frenuloplasty which has now enabled me to retract fully when erect and has greatly improved my life.
>I suggest you read up on this condition and perhaps you may be able to make a better diagnosis.From your description, it sounds as if the opening is just a bit tight. Simple stretching exercises alone would loosen up the tissue in time. Better yet, the two of you could devise a simple tool he would wear several hours per day that would force the opening to remain stretched. Plastic is your best bet because of durability and maintenance. It is also unlikely to cause a reaction. You will be the best judge in what to use depending upon how much the tissue will stretch. Some guys use the caps from pens or markers. Others have graduated up to the size of a 35mm film canister. Whatever you use, make sure there are no rough edges. A simple file will take care of roughness. Fit the device into the opening a tape the skin to it. Leave it in place all day. I'd suggest taking it out at bedtime just to insure that no damage occurs from undue pressure on any given part of the tissue. During waking hours it would be felt.
It is really no more complex than that. No need for creams. The skin amazingly knows what to do all by itself once coaxed a bit.
I am concerned about your statement regarding his "going flat". What else is going on in his life? Does he smoke or drink a lot, or do you think it is just a psychological reaction to the tight foreskin. He may want to consult with a sex therapist about the situation. Also, a complete physical may be in order. Inability to maintain an erection can be attributed to many factors, some of which can be very serious health issues.
Your description does not indicate any problem with a short frenulum. If he can get the skin all the way back while flaccid, it sounds as if the frenulum is sufficiently long enough.