[ ARC forum 2 ]

Re: 8 yr old son

Written by Ralesk at 04 May 2004 23:22:54:

As an answer to: 8 yr old son written by Mom of 2 boys at 04 May 2004 18:27:14:

>This weekend my 8 yr old came to me complaining of feeling like he could not completely empty his bladder, that urination was burning sometimes, and that sometimes he felt like he had to go but couldn’t. We went to the family doc yesterday, and the urine culture results will be in tomorrow. The family doc referred us to a urologist because “men shouldn’t be having those symptoms, and even if it is a simple UTI, men should not get UTI’s”

That excuse sounds silly. Some men get a couple UTIs in their lives. And what’s this disctinction between men and women?

>His foreskin does not retract at all. It used to retract enough to barely see the end of the penis, but a pediatrician forced it back and made it bleed when he was 3 ½, and it has not retracted since.

That was a SERIOUS mistake by the pediatrician.

>Through some gentle discussions over the last several days, he has told me that his foreskin area is painful when he has erections. I showed him a diagram of how that skin is supposed to move, and (as casually as possible) mentioned that it should feel kinda good to do that. He gave me a very shocked look and said “no way mom – that HURTS!” Now, I have asked him if the painful part is on the underneath side, and he says yes it is.

It would be a good idea to treat his UTI (that is, with antibiotics and medicine), and then see if that changes something in his discomfort. If he cannot retract, he should still be able to pull forwards and loosen up the skin that way (explained more thoroughly on this page.)

>So…would that be the frenulum breve that I’ve found discussed on some websites? (not sure if I spelled that correctly)

If he cannot retract at all, I would doubt it is about the frenulum, rather than the tightness of the foreskin opening.

>Those of you that have needed surgery as adults: Did you also have painful erections in pre-puberty? Is this something that might correct itself, or something that should be surgically corrected NOW? I want to be prepared with some information when we see the urologist next week, in case he immediately says “yep needs circ’d” and doesn’t offer options.

(which is likely, regardless of how serious the problem is.)

> I’d like some realistic viewpoints from guys who’ve been there. Of course we will seek a second opinion if surgery is recommended.

>How do you find a doctor who is not biased either anti-circ or pro-circ?

Hard to. In the US it’s likely they have a bigger preference to circumcision than anywhere else, but that’s it.

>I want to make the best choice for MY son, not for someone’s agenda either way. Most websites I’ve found are either strongly pro-circ, strongly anti-circ, or pornographic circ-fetish sites. Unbiased information on circ beyond infancy seems practically non-existent.

I’ll have to agree on that. (been to cirp.org, btw?)

>He is aware of what circumcision is. He knows that his 5-yr old brother’s foreskin has retracted fully for years now. He knows his friends don’t have foreskin at all. He has actually asked me these past few days if he can be circumcised. He does not want to “mess with” topical cream and stretching exercises. While I want to respect his choice, I also don’t want to make a decision that he will regret later. I explained that the frenulum can be cut if that is what is causing him pain, but that he would have to be careful not to let it adhere back during the healing process. He shook his head and said “nah let’s just do the circumthingy.” So much for all the theories about boys feeling like they might lose part of themselves if their foreskins are cut!

Not sure if an 8 years old boy can seriously know what he’s getting into, regardless of if I agree with the practice or not!

>I know this has been long, and I thank you for your time and honest responses.


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