[ ARC forum 2 ]

Re: Psychosexual Development

Written by Jim at 24 Jan 2002 05:23:20:

As an answer to: Re: Psychosexual Development written by Steve at 23 Jan 2002 23:47:59:

>>Unfortunately this happens to quite a lot of guys that have similar problems with the penis/foreskin. I believe there's some material on the site that hosts this forum (link at top of forum page).
>>I was the same as you prior to my partial circ and frenulum removal. If, like me, you have the problem solved surgically you might also find that afterwards, like me, a huge weight has been lifted. It's really extra-ordinarily uplifting the sense of liberation you get from having a correctly function penis. I suppose it's kind of like people who have nose-jobs or whatever, afterwards they feel much more confident and the same applies to your problem (although medical and not cosmetic).
>Thanks, it is such a relief to hear this! I've been gradually cutting down my expectations, after at first believing that it would solve a whole raft of things. But what you describe (ie. that it *will* solve those things) is what I would like to hope for. I'll bet there are knock-on effects in the blood chemistry, the immune system, and the endorphin levels, to name a few: I think nature tends to have these mechanisms for the survival of the fit.
>>I would also point out that if you do attempt stretching excersize for the frenulum, you should be VERY careful. It might also be worth finding accounts online from people that have had experience in with these excersizes and see how they got on - if they did okay, injured themselves, or did nothing etc.
>I'm a very careful type anyway, though I appreciate the warning.
>But do other things come together of their own accord, or do I have to work very hard on them to catch up? eg. dating techniques (I realise most pubescent boys have struggled endlessly with this, and would now be very proficient, but I was never interested), emotional attachments, knowledge of sex, knowing how to deal with intense feelings, etc.
>If things take off as you imply, I might still be heading for trouble with relationships if I don't have the understanding of these things that would be expected of someone my age.

Steve, you really do sound like a nice guy. I see no reason why you should be worrying so much, unless there's something you aren't telling us, such as, are you really ugly, or what?

Look at your relationships with the girls and women around you. Do you have female friends from school or at work? What about sisters or your mom? Are you received by them as an all right guy? If so, then you just need to continue being nice to people. Don't be afraid to ask a girl to go to a movie or just for coffee. You do have Starbucks, don't you? If not, you will. Simple little get-togethers like that can lead to more if the chemistry between you is right. You'll know when it is. The key is not jumping at the first one. Shop around. I think it's always a good idea to look closely at the mother. Her daughter will often become a duplicate of her in a few years. If you don't get along with her mother, chances are you are doomed before you get started. Why fight it?

I'd recommend that you not be so concerned yet about sex. If you think that's all there is, you've been watching to much television.

You'll do fine. Just start working on those exercises, continue to be nice, and it will eventually come together. It's way to early to think about a monestary!


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