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Kid age 2y3m - retract the way he likes.

Written by Paul B. at 31 Jan 2002 11:53:33:

As an answer to: Re: My kid age 2y3m - retract how far & adhesions ok? written by Jakkals at 31 Jan 2002 09:36:32:

> One person wrote: "...as soon as they are out of nappies let them know to pull their skin back..."

Although not an exact cut-and-paste, I am sure that line was mine!

> How does your advice square with that?

Knowing Jim22's qualifications, I wouldn't really dare to dispute things with him, but note the very subtle distinction between my advise and his: I said let him - the owner of the penis know that the foreskin is supposed to retract, that it is not only all right for him to pull it back and play with his penis, but that it's fun to do so and except that you may wish him to do it in private, you actually approve of him playing with it.

In particular, he can be encouraged to pull it back to pee, not because he must do this to keep it clean (though it certainly is important in keeping it clean) - it really doesn't matter if he experiments with peeing with the foreskin forward and with it pulled back; but because this will encourage the synechiae (often called adhesions) to part and the foreskin to be fully mobile in future.

Jim(22) said that you should not be doing anything. I think you might be permitted to ask him to show you what he can do with it from time to time, but you do not need to do anything to it, nor to expect anyone else to do anything with it. As you describe it, it is totally normal and you can be guaranteed that since it will retract now, and if he retracts it himself not out of duty, but out of curiosity, it will always be retractable. Any persistent synechiae can be dealt with at almost any age, you see.

One other thing, 2-year olds love to pull their foreskin forward and see how far they can stretch it. This is suggested as being the preferred way of separating the synechiae - the same way you remove a piece of adhesive tape from a surface without tearing the surface, if you understand that trick!

So what Jim(22) said and what I said actually match quite well, it is just a difference in emphasis.

A relationship where you express interest in his development and provide information is quite healthy, as long as there is no element of "judgement" or "performance" for him to feel anxious about. The message for you to convey is "as you grow it will come back further, it's not ready just now". If left to his curiosity, he will limit himself to whatever does not hurt, and won't cause himself injury.

If incidentally, he develops any irritation there (which little boys and girls do), the treatment is exactly the same as for nappy rash (in America, "diaper rash", which term was used tends to identify the quote you first made as being mine!) because that's exactly what it is. Possibly use an anti-Candida cream ("Canesten" or "Daktarin" or their equivalent) and in any case a soothing waterproofing such as Zinc and Castor Oil cream.


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