[ ARC forum 2 ]

Re: Stretching Phimosis . . .

Written by Jim at 09 Feb 2002 03:50:40:

As an answer to: Re: Stretching Phimosis . . . written by CaribbeanGuy at 08 Feb 2002 15:43:19:

>
>Hi, thanks for your response.
>sometimes sex is painful, and i ssume that is because of a lack of lubrication. The foreskin tends to bunch up, as shown in the picture to the left. As you said, i need to pay extra attention to the matter of lubrication. This bunching up normally occur whenever we run out of lubrication so to speak.
>I can remeber only once in my entire life aver being able to reach a climax while haveing intercourse, and that was after about 1 hr of constant in and out action. My GF was crying, and thought that i was being too rough with her. At the end of it, my foreskin was swollen from the amount of friction. I didnt use any additional lubrication.
>
>My current Gf has no problem with sex, in fact she sometimes have multiple orgasms during our sex sessions. she sometimes complains that she gets a little dry while haveing sex, which causes frictional pain for both of us, especially when she is bouncing on my penis, and also manifests iteslf more in certain positions
>I have made an appointment to see a Dermatologist. Hopefully he will be able to advise me o the best way to stretch, or indeed if I should consider a dorsal slit, or doing some form of plasic surgery, but I would only resort to this if the stretching doesnt yield satisfactory results over the next 5 months.
>What are your views on the dorsal slit? do you think its worth a try. I certainly wont be a doing a circ.
>>>
>
> About a year ago, I was in the shower and decided on trying to retract my foreskin.
>>Tell me, as you later quote "sex is not very pleasurable for me, and I sometimes lose my erection because of it", what was the situation a year ago when you first tried to retract? Had you experienced intercourse at that time or not, and if so, was it more pleasurable than now?
>>> At first it was painfull, . . . It felt tight around the head,
>>The message you perhaps missed at that point, was to simply do that again and again until it was no longer as tight, rather than not doing it because it was tight. Now if girls reacted that way when they first tried to have sex, then they'd never have sex, would they? (;-^)
>>> i can recall in my teenage years that the opening was very much smaller.
>>Another hint here. Was small, now larger. Progress!
>>> I do not have problems urinating or masturbating.
>>Then you certainly should have no discomfort during intercourse.
>>> Sometimes, sex is painful if there is not much lubrication,
>>In which case, just imagine what she is feeling at that time! That should serve as a warning to you to attend to the lubrication - quite a desirable indicator in fact. Without a fully functional foreskin, you are in almost the same situation as a circumcised fellow (though actually, not quite as bad), it cannot help you to retain lubrication and it cannot "roll" properly to provide an alternative.
>>> sometimes the skin tends to "roll under" on the glans during sex, which can be a little bit painful.
>>Perhaps you could have another try at explaining this? I don't follow.
>>> I dont get the sexual sensations i know i should be getting from sex,
>>I would think that is somewhat relative. You are getting less of the sensation of your glans travelling over the ridges on the vaginal wall, but on the other hand, if the vagina is properly lubricated, that is relatively subtle anyway. Since she is holding you fairly snugly, these "ripples" will still make themselves known, and you have a reasonable degree of feeling in your foreskin itself, anyway.
>>Men put a considerable over-emphasis on feeling the inside of the vagina. The fact is that beyond the muscles, the vagina is pretty "empty" and there isn't a tremendous amount to feel in any case. Indeed, the woman has minimal sensation inside the vagina herself. You probably wouldn't want more sensation from it anyway, as you are likely to "come" too quickly.
>>Obviously it is for this reason that you tend to thrust deeply, not so much to touch "something at the end" which again, she is more likely to find uncomfortable, but to repeatedly experience the tightness of the initial entry.
>>I mention all this to try and shift you away from the notion that you have to do something to experience all of it and encourage you to relax and enjoy the "ride" and in particular enjoy her "ride" which in case you do not follow, is not particularly dependent on the vigour of your thrusting.
>>> About 4 days ago, I read where stretching
>>And you have actually achieved a change in four days? You may not, probably will not continue to achieve such obvious success in so short a time, but that certainly should direct you toward the concept that you just keep stretching, and "keep on keeping on".
>>> but after 2 days of forceing it, i could fit my two thumbs inside the foreskin!
>>I usually suggest two little fingers to start with, but so much the better!
>>> I am considering going to a doctor to try get a prescripotion for a stretching ointment
>>Well, I won't say not to, and you certainly seem to have it clearly understood that an operation (of which circumcision is the least appropriate) is a "quick and dirty" but not a good approach.
>>> if its available in the Caribbean.
>>I can see no reason it should not be. Even if pricey, you need only a small amount as you should apply only a very thin application, and only to the tight section.
>>> I bought a special lotion recently that contains elastin and Vitamin E,
>>Then by all means continue with that for the present.
>>> I retracted the foreskin, and let it remain retracted for about 5 minutes!
>>Good Do that every day, whenever convenient,
>>> But then, the penis began to get erect, and it started to feel tight, so I quickly released it.
>>and let it go that little bit extra whenever you can.
>>> do you think I will be able to get rid of my phimosis without doing the dreaded circumcision?
>>As per my previous writings, I see no reason why you should not solve it, if you are persistent. And I commend to you to read up on the forum here and note the comments about possibly finding something that can be placed inside the foreskin opening so that it is held firmly but not painfully open, and left (possibly taped in place) in there for much/ most of the day (but probably not whilst you are asleep).
>>> I think its affecting my sex life, sex is not very pleasureable for me,
>>But you say it's not painful. I'm not saying you should not work to get the foreskin fully functional, because you certainly should, but if you are not enjoying sex, I'd look at all the other factors and particularly whether your fiancé is enjoying it fully (and having an orgasm). Try to understand that enjoyment of intercourse is not all about the feelings your penis gives you, but how it makes you feel to experience her increasing excitement and anticipation of orgasm ("coming").
>>> and I sometimes lose my erection because of it.
>>Too much thinking about what you are feeling.
>>> I want this fixed by my wedding Night (sept 7 2002)
>>Then don't just concentrate on the one aspect.
>>> Is this a reasonable time frame to expect a full retraction of the erect penis
>>Yes indeed.
>>> if I embark on a daily stretching routine (together with Beta Methasone)
>>Yes indeed, but possibly a lot faster if you were to use a stretching device. Read all about it below. Even the "knockers" and think about whether their comments are sensible.
>>Also remember that when you achieve the looseness you want, stretching must be continued for a while further - a month or two, to "set" the changes.
>>> I will continue to read the messages on this board for the rest of my life i think.
>>More likely until you get all sorted out. (;-^)

Your inquiry about a dorsal slit indicates an expectation of failure. If you approach stretching that way, you will fail, just as some others here have. You have to do it with belief that you will succeed, and you will. The principle of stretching will not fail you. Only you can fail to accept and apply the principle. Is that clear?

A dorsal slit, while being able to solve a tightness situation, will create a cosmetic problem. There are a couple of different ways the surgeon could do it, but in no case will the results look right.

Do the stretching and get on with life.


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