[ ARC forum 2 ]

Re: Problems indeed

Written by Dave McQueen at 04 Mar 2002 15:07:43:

As an answer to: Re: Problems indeed written by SG at 03 Mar 2002 18:31:29:

Firstly I should say that I want to be honest here, and that my name is Dave McQueen, not SG or anything else.

The issue of assessment is in no way repugnant to me, neither is schizophrenia. Some of the greatest minds of out time have shown signs of schizophrenia, and one psychology lecturer at Uni specialized in this condition.

Contrary to your self however, I have no formal education in this field.

Perhaps all I can say is that I have been where Paul is now and it is probable that this is the root of my anger at your statements regarding him. 10 years ago I could have written that post using his words.

I suffered from pinhole phimosis for 15 years, from the age of 12. It was painful for me to have an erection and my foreskin used to tear. I too knew there was something wrong and that I was different, but I couldn’t tell anyone. So my problem festered and I am sure that I became very self obsessed. I avoided personal contact with anyone. At the age of 32, and still without any physical contact I sought help.

Aged 33 I entered puberty in a psychological sense and for the past 7 years have grown as a person, and come to understand the scope of the problems that I suffered from having a ‘defective’ penis. I have been in a relationship for 6 years and am today happily married.

The inability to retract my foreskin led me to make incorrect assumptions about myself, including the idea that I was never meant to have sex.

To quote myself from Robin’s site, ‘both men and boys can - over time, adapt their beliefs and thinking patterns to accommodate their anatomical conditions’. I truly believe this.

My psychologist was the most wonderful person who pushed me to use my analytical skills to understand my own problems and then others. To this end I qualified as a counsellor 2 years ago. I believe in face-to-face talking and empathy, and confrontation and making tough choices.

Obviously the reason for posting to the arc forum is to provide info. and to guide and support, and yes that may include challenging to help people make change and exit their ‘comfort zones’.

I feel somewhat guilty of hijacking this topic, and going off on a tangent and arguing with you guys.

You may wish to reply – I cover a lot of ground, but I will not post again.

I wish Paul good luck. Take control, get fixed, but do it in your own time.


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