[ ARC forum 2 ]

Re: THE Solution

Written by John at 22 Apr 2002 18:15:58:

As an answer to: THE Solution written by Paul B. at 19 Apr 2002 23:07:59:

Thanks for your answer Paul B.

I'm 100% ceratain I do not want to have myself cut up in any shape or form. I have been reading a fair bit, and I am now convinced about the appropriate action to take. Once I have finished my degree (a matter of weeks) I'm going to get started on this.

Stretching is the way to go I believe also. I wince a bit on thinking of this though...its my glans and having it touched. I suppose there is no way to resolve this without experiencing some discomfort.

When I do start to stretch, would it be a good idea to stop having sex? Will the foreskin become tender and perhaps even irritated, to the extent that sex would be too painful?

I'm also thinking that it might be a good idea not to have sex, becuase when stretching, I'll reach a diameter that is almost big enough to allow the glans to be exposed, but not quite, and the act of having sex could force the forskin over the glans and become stuck there! Not something I want to have happen to me at all.

Luckily, I have a good girlfriend, and she knows about this and doesn't mind about the lack of sex thing for a while...becuase in the end, it will be worth it. Besides, I can please her in other ways ;-)

>> It's never been exposed fully so it would be like touching my eye or something!
>A good parallel. Nevertheless your eyelids touch your eye and people can use contact lenses. While there is some element of adaptation to using contact lenses, the most important thing is that they are the right shape and that there is sufficient moisture under and over them to lubricate them and allow them to slip around.
>So it is with the glans and sex. It's supposed to be sensitive, just as the eye is - that is essentially the normal state, and if you have sex (presuming a retractile foreskin) only when your ladyfriend is ready for it and thus lubricated, then the sensitivity is no problem at all, but causes you to be naturally slow and gentle about the process whcih curiously enough, is probably exactly what she prefers.
>In fact, if you consider it further, this is exactly how it is for the ladyfriend's clitoris - it is just as sensitive as your glans presently is, preferring to be stimulated either through its own foreskin, or directly only when properly lubricated, and then with gentleness also. The state of persistent exposure and desensitisation of the male glans is no more normal than it is for the clitoris to be so exposed and desensitised and while you just might hear of some women preferring to expose it, this is very much an oddity (and mostly a subject of fantasy).
>> My penis is in pretty good condition apart from the tightness at the top.
>Then indeed, that is your only point of concern. There is indeed no other "problem" beyond getting it to work normally or optimally, so don't be sidetracked about "sensitivity". Clue: If at any point, such as while stretching, the glans sensitivity appears to be a problem, add lubricant (such as sold for that purpose).
>> There is no hygiene issue here that I have read about.
>And why would there be? There is only a hygiene issue if you have poor hygiene. Q.e.d. Probably the commonest hygiene issue in this part of the body, is the inappropriate and excess use of soap which irritates the mucosa and removes the natural emollients.
>> Perhaps having to go into hospital and strangers looking and cutting up my foreskin.
>May I suggest gaining a clear focus on this situation? You need to accept very clearly that surgery is not an appropriate option. (Only) once you have accepted that, can you gain the focus on the important aspects of the situation; how you are going to stretch your foreskin to a functional diameter.
>If you read this forum meticulously, which I most strongly commend you to do, you will come to understand the elements involved in stretching and also the rather peculiar viewpoint of those who have contemplated the surgical option to the extent that they have lost sight of the simpler option and despite its simplicity and effectiveness, been unable to focus on it to the point of effectively implementing it. In other words, they kept thinking about surgery instead of concentrating on stretching.
>> I wish I had known of this earlier in my life
>Of course you should have. This is a most unfortunate situation to face at any time. While there are some who argue that your present situation is perfectly acceptable (you can have sex, it is entirely pleasurable given that you have to be careful that there is always enough lubrication that the foreskin is not pulled back to the point of painful stretch, and you can most certainly father children), and needs no modification a priori, it is neither strictly normal nor is it by any means optimal.
>> it's a little annoying to have to try and resolve this now.
>As such, it should be avoided by teaching boys at all ages to retract their foreskins and in particularly, to retract to pee. Perhaps they don't strictly need to do this, but it is a most effective safeguard that ensures that the foreskin becomes retractile, is fully retractile, and stays so for a lifetime.
>> What should I do?
>Stretch it. Read back through the forum for a wealth of suggestions.
>> has anyone else never been able to retract their foreskin, and managed to use stretching to good effect?
>Yes, many! In fact, most on a global viewpoint. Not I, but plenty of others and a number have written here. Do not be put off by those who detail failure. The operative principles for success are (not surprisingly) dedication, persistence, patience and of course that other absolute essential, common-sense which is often in regrettably short supply.


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