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Outbreak of rare disease

Written by Phillip at 07 May 2002 00:29:26:

The United Kingdom Ministry of Health has announced the discovery of a rare affliction within the UK by a male aged 25 who shall be identified only as AJ.

The disease has been named enigmalcerebralsclerosis and carries with it a set of symptons which have confused medical practioners. The reason for the confusion is that the victim of the disease exhibits symptons which contradict each other.

The symptons in this case involve brain activity and general behavior. The most debilitating sympon is know as constipation of the brain which causes the normal process of developing conclusions to be disrupted. In the case of AJ, he is no longer able to process facts in a manner necessary to come to a logical conclusion. He has developed what is commonly called the jumpingtoconclusions syndome. The contradictory sympton which runs concurently with the brain constipation is known as diarrhea of the mouth. Symptons include running off at the mouth, false accusations, and public questioning of authority. Advanced cases are recognized by continued repeating of statements which are known to be false. AJ has displayed this type of behavior, and under observation, has been declared to be worsening. Victims also seem uncommonly attached to the first physician who has treated them, even when the treatment was damaging. They also adamantly deny the harm, and refuse to seek treatment from physicians with known ability to help the disease.

While the disease is not fatal, it is highly contageous under the right set of circumstances. The passing of the antagonist is by online transmissions of untruthful advice given to gullible recipients who believe it to be factual.

The only known cure for the disease is circumcision of the heart. Unfortunately, the medical practioners don't have time to read the latest breakthroughs in medical science and many rely upon verbal accounts from colleagues. In the case of AJ's physician, he did just such, and unfortunately misinterpreted the message of the cure. What he thought he heard was circumcision of the foreskin, which he did perform on AJ. Unfortunately, because of the attachment this creates within the patient, AJ has mistaken his treatment as being the cure, when in reality, it has become part of the confusion of the constipated brain while also contributing to the diarrhea of the mouth.


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