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My thoughts and feelings

Written by US Dad at 23 May 2002 15:43:24:

As an answer to: Advice needed written by US dad with decision at 21 May 2002 19:43:40:

I appreciate the comments and effort on my behalf from everyone. I've had some time to think things through since I posted initially.

I guess I've been most surprised that we've gotten two calls from the doctor's office, the first "confirming" an appointment for Bryan's circumcision -- that we never made and advising of the doctor's fee ($1200.00) and inquiring how we would be paying for it which upset my wife and the second to me at work from the doctor who stressed the immediate need to take care of this "boy problem," and when I didn't respond in the afirmative, a barely polite lecture that we should have had this taken care of at birth and were less than good parents for not doing so. The whole experience hsa left my wife and I with a feeling of what they call in basketball the "full court press."

My wife's feelings are still rooted in her religious feelings which I don't particularly share. In general we have a balanced household and I see no point in throwing into the equation that circumcised and uncircumcised boys are able to masturbate -- and do, and from what I've read here and other places, it probably is easier with a foreskin.

I did have to go up to Ft. Lauderdale the other night and took Bryan and our time together in the car gave me a chance to talk to him a bit more without any distractions.

I was surprised that the doctor's visit and subsequent possibility of being circumcised was weighing so heavily on him. I guess being circumcised myself, it never crossed my mind as a big deal but Bryan was quick to ask how I would feel if someone wanted to cut part of my penis off for whatever reason. That, in a way, was a revalation to me because not having one, I had never thought of a foreskin as really being part of your penis. As he talked he fought for control and lost the battle as tears rolled down his cheeks and I realized just how upset and frightened he was. Seeing his tears for the first time in many years was very upsetting to me and I've since rethought just what my roll is as a dad.

I was pretty much leaning towards nothaving him circumcised, based in large part on what I've reasd here in other posts, the over bearing attitudes of the doctor and the fact that there is no problem in reality, an operation would only treat what "might" happen in the future. It didn't seem worth removing part of his body and going agaist his wishes for a "maybe it could happen" scenario.

I did assure him that his penis was safe and was able to have a talk about the info here about the remedy of stretching his foreskin open so that he won't be afraid to mention it if he ever does have a problem, and talked about that he may decide in the future that we wants it to go back. For his part, I didn't pick up that at this point he sees a reason for that and is happy with things just the way they are.

I guess if I wasn't circumcised I would be better prepared to address this issue, but I appreciate the information here and appologize for this being such a long post.


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