[ ARC forum 2 ]
Written by Paul B. at 10 Jun 2002 00:21:51: Condom Lore. A LOT of help . . .
As an answer to: A bit of help... written by Jake Booth at 09 Jun 2002 14:48:00:
> Just a quick question that I feels more appropriate on here than the other forums.
Really? Why is that?
> Sexual intercourse, do you have to pull your foreskin back when wearing a condom or could you keep the penis covered while wearing the condom?
It may sound trite, it may sound offhand, but it is true: "Whatever works for you". Experiment! Get some condoms and try it out!
> For me, that would be much more comfortable than having to retract my foreskin.
In which case, it'll probably do fine. Your interest in anal intercourse duly noted.
> Would it rip the condom or something daft? Any ideas?
Condom breakage has everything to do with lubrication. In particular, the ability of the condom-covered penis to slip into wherever you are going to put it - and slip is definitely the word.
Once you have an erection and the condom over it, no force from inside the condom will tear it because the contents simply do not vary in size. There is a common advice to leave a bit of the condom free at the end while putting it on, legend goes that this is to provide space to receive the ejaculate so it does not burst the condom. Many condoms are shaped with a "nipple" at the end to provide this reservoir.
On discussion with sex researchers and educators, no-one really believes this. You will know by now that the amount you ejaculate is of the order of 5 ml - a small spoonful. There is no way that this amount can stretch the condom to a critical extent. In fact, you can easily hold a hundred times this amount (500 ml) in the condom and hold it up by the end, and well over a litre if you support it underneath.
What this advice actually indicates is the need to fit the condom with enough slack so that if it is pulled back by whatever it is being thrust into, there is enough stretch to allow for it. Now in the manner a condom is used, the guy's "pre-cum" tends to lubricate the inside quite soon and quite well, so that whichever way you put it on anyway, it tends to slip sooner or later into whatever position (relative to the penis and foreskin) is loosest.
Unfortunately, this is pretty much what you don't want it to do, because what it critical for safe condom use, is that it slips easily in and out of wherever you are putting it. And the problem here is that in slipping in and out, whatever lubrication allows it to do so, tends to be dragged out and dry out, so how quickly it is replaced becomes a matter of concern.
Girls quite often vary in their enthusiasm during intercourse, and to the extent that they tire of it to any degree, stop lubricating, or stop doing so sufficiently. Because you are wearing a condom, there is no effective contribution from the guy, so if this happens, you now have the condom being caught inside. If it is caught on the in-stroke, then the penis thrusts against the end of the condom and this is when the condom may well burst. If the condom becomes caught fully inside, it may slip off during the out-stroke and roll up inside, which renders it equally ineffective.
So, the use of condoms will require careful monitoring of what is actually happening, particularly with regard to lubrication. This is all the more critical for anal intercourse, where silicone-based (super-slippery) lubricants can be very useful. Mineral oils (Vaseline) rot condoms, so they cannot be used (except with special types of condoms).
Probably the most brilliant solution to all these problems is the "female condom" (Femidom) which goes inside the recipient first and stays put there, requiring lubrication only (except for insertion) on the inside, where the natural production of "pre-cum" tends to work quite well.
It's all very technical, isn't it?