[ ARC forum 2 ]
Written by Paul B. at 13 Aug 2002 14:59:37: Sensibility
As an answer to: Re: sensibility written by Dave at 13 Aug 2002 02:17:15:
> If I do use, perhaps oil, how would this help me eradicate smegma when I can't even apply the slightest pressure on my glans to remove smegma.
This seems to resolve to two questions; how the oil helps, and how you manage to put it on.
OK, sounds like you are learning!
What is smegma? I think I have outlined it here somewhere, but can't locate it easily. One day, I might, if I have time (but I don't!), assemble a website with all the FAQs from this and Fathermag, so at least here (I can't on Fathermag as it won't permit posting of true links) I could simply insert each appropriate link. Maybe someday - when I retire perhaps . . .
So, smegma is the skin that has built up in this previously "hidden" place over the years when it was not being exposed. Skin grows in a layered fashion and normally wears away as it is rubbed away on bedding, clothing, other people, the environment etc. There are "exception" places to this, notably the ear canals, the umbilicus (navel; "belly button") and if you have not been retracting your foreskin, then it is an "exception" also.
Now, in the ear canals, the skin actually grows in such a fashion that it "migrates" outward and tends to fall out, but of course, sometimes it gets stuck and you have to have it professionally removed - such as by flushing with water. You perhaps know how sensitive the ear canals are - and for a purpose - to protect the ears from things that shouldn't get in! The "navel" often gets a build-up, and can get quite sore on some occasions though some people manage to develop ridiculous plugs of material there, which can still be quite tender on removal.
Your problem with the "smegma" build-up is that it has been building up for some time, and still tends to be layered/ flaky and adherent, so that trying to dislodge it may lift a layer that is loose at one end, but still stuck down to the (tender) base layer at the other. You know this I think already, from what happens when the cuticle of your fingernail flakes up and if you try and pull it loose, it tears deeper. (Hint: the trick for that is to cut the projecting piece flush with a good pair of pocket nail clippers - not scissors.)
You need two things, a softening agent such as the oils mentioned, to help the upper layers to break up into smaller flakes, so the "layering" effect is less pronounced, and a very controlled program of abrasion to remove it. Caution - I am not talking about sandpaper here - I am talking about lubricated abrasion against nothing rougher than a skin surface.
This leads to the second consideration - how it is practical to use the oil and how to do it if the glans is sensitive. The fact of the matter is - it just works! Putting the oil - or lubricant - on, reduces the friction to the extent that without the "drag" of dry touch, touching is not too uncomfortable, and the smegma can be wiped away, but notice - not in one session, or even in one day, or one week. You do still have to get the glans used to being stroked clean.
The fact of the matter, not to put too fine a point on it, is that the natural way to clean the glans, is with the original and best, purpose-built "penis cleaner", technically described a "vagina" and which is self-lubricating. Of course until you are in a situation to get married (presumptuous of me, I know), you may have to suffice with the "reserve" instrument which is ready at hand. Which is, of course, masturbation, where using the ability of the foreskin to run over the glans and back again, most effectively loosens up the smegma and wipes it off, but by bit, in the process. Using lubricant here will certainly help the process.
Now obviously, you are presently stuck in a "half-way" situation where this is not so easy, but the important point is - do what you can, and both problems will improve together.
Let me digress a moment, by the way. Women experience exactly the same situation in a certain circumstance. After a (first) baby is born, they will hopefully breast-feed it. For some however, this activity is so traumatic to the nipple that it chafes, cracks, splits, bleeds, weeps, obviously becomes painful and unless it adapts satisfactorily, it may become impossible to actually breast feed. There are three aspects of management of this, one is to make sure the baby is not chewing on the nipple (insofar as it "chews", it is supposed to get so much of the nipple area in its mouth that the actual nipple "knob" is inside the gums, which act on the areola - the dark circle which contains the milk pump chambers - instead). The second is to use an emollient (and no soap whatsoever) on the nipple to increase its flexibility.
But the third, which I advise strongly but unfortunately, women are reluctant to take seriously, is to practice, well ahead of time, by having their partner provide suckling on a daily basis (more if possible) for a comparable period. Incidentally, this has certain other consequences. {;-)}
> Another thing, why wouldn't I want to loose sensitivity in the glans?
Sorry, you've still got it by the wrong end. The question to be answered remains, why would you want to lose sensitivity?
> When I go out and have sex, or even just casual masterbaition, it is more comfortable not worrying about your glans being too sensitive to touch anything.
I challenge you: Just why would you worry about this at all? Has it caused you any problem at all so far? Do be careful in answering, that what you suggest is in fact an appropriate action. Let me put it to you that it has not interfered with your masturbation so far. "But", you say, "I was not pulling my foreskin back". Indeed you were not, so what does this prove?
It most certainly proves that if you keep your glans protected by a slippery cover, it is not too sensitive - in fact, it is very pleasurable. Your foreskin serves to control the forces applied to it, avoiding shearing ("dragging") on the skin (mucosa), an effect that with a retractile foreskin, will also be produced by a woman's well-lubricated vagina (and you simply shouldn't be in any vagina that is not well-lubricated). The point is that you should not expect that your glans should tolerate anything other than lubricated friction. If you wish to touch or stroke it "bare", then you need lubricant - and enough of it.
> I dont even think I can wear a condom w/o having to agonize about my sensitive glans.
That would be a blunder in perception. If the condom is not already lubricated, you may need a small dab of lubricant inside, or on your glans first. What you may not realise is that until you actually are with a woman, you will not experience the maximum production of your own lubrication ("pre-cum").
> To answer your question, I cannot move my foreskin down when its not erect.
But why? Is it because you cannot actually hold the part (the glans) that you want to pull the foreskin back over? It is otherwise absurd to suggest the foreskin could be tighter when you are not erect.
> I guess lubrication might be the answer to aid my stretching phase, I would appreciate any advice on . . . how to apply it on.
- Drip lubricant on glans (3 drops).
- Spread with fingers to cover whole of glans.
- Stroke glans with fingers and/ or hand.
- If any friction "drag" is felt and is uncomfortable, apply more lubricant and re-try.
> But what good is this sensitivity if it's to the extent that I am unable to touch it at all because it's so painful. The slightest bit of pressure feels like i'm stabbing it down with a knife.
But it isn't like that if you use lubricant. I know it isn't, because it hasn't stopped you masturbating so far (has it?). That you can do so indicates it is not impossibly sensitive, and the same effect (as the cover of the foreskin) will be achieved with lubrication, and a well-lubricated vagina will certainly function in the same manner.
And incidentally, the smegma you do have has almost certainly not been there forever. Masturbating with the foreskin forward is also reasonably effective at softening and loosening it, after which it is progressively and gradually flushed out with the urine when you pee - so continuously that you do not notice.
>> Please understand that there are tens of millions of circumcised American men who would love to have your sensitivity 'problem'.
Yes, it hasn't been a problem before now, do not talk yourself into one.