[ ARC forum 2 ]

Re: More

Written by andy at 06 Sep 2002 09:45:35:

As an answer to: More written by Paul B. at 05 Sep 2002 15:02:31:

>> I think it's because she's only been with circ'ed guys before I've talked to her, and she's just worried that this will cause me pain during intercourse. She's perfectly ok with it if it doesn't cause any pain.
>Well, that's rather sweet, if only because it seems to me a bit "topsy-turvy" - the usual situation being that the girl is anxious that she will be hurt or get sore and that the guy may not even notice this happening. Presumably this is a consequence of the (expected) desensitisation resulting from circumcision.
LOL! That's funny, I always thought so myself... in fact, I've never
considered not-retracting to hurt during intercourse. There is much more
literature and counselling on how you should go slow with the girl, make sure
she is well lubricated, etc.
>>>> ... causing an hourglass effect.
>>> Uncomfortable or not?
>Answer?
Not uncomfortable. The frenar band usually slides upwards towards the glans
to find a "happy-medium", so to speak.
>> No, I've not had sex with her.
>And fair enough. She may even have a hymen still!
>> We've masturbated each other, though.
>The fact that you are taking things "easy", in no hurry, bodes extremely well for for your relationship. Is there a Christian commitment behind this?

Kind of... but also we both agree to take it slow, as we feel it helps the
relationship to not repress ourselves sexually, but to try to focus on
meeting each other's needs elsewhere as well. We believe that intercourse
should be a climax of all the petting done during the engagement... besides,
it's fun to pet :)

>May I just caution you on one little thing - that if you reserve intercourse (actually, I refer to both solitary and mutual masturbation as "sex" anyway,) for your marriage, that you don't forget to be just as careful on your wedding night/ honeymoon when you "go for it".
>She was surprised because she didn't know that phimosis could be 'fixed' through stretching, and had suggested earlier that I get circ'ed.
>An amiable ignorance. We hope through this forum and Fathermag for starters, to correct that - to make enough "noise" so that wherever people discuss circumcision and phimosis, the concept of stretching must arise, at which point, people can search and find out for themselves - as you evidently have!
>> Now that she sees progress, she is very encouraging in my stretching exercises.
>Given all you describe so far, I would expect so. Do you for one, actually go through it with her?
>>> If they do not stay put, where do they go?
>> They go out. I find it difficult to stretch the foreskin, insert the dilator, and tape it properly at the same time (not enough hands).
>Right - fair enough; I am not surprised. This follows from the other - how much daily contact do you have with your fiancé? I mean there's an extra set of hands for the asking! {;-)}

Heehee, that would be fun, I think. But unfortunately, we're still having a
long distance relationship for the next month or so while she completes her
job in another city.

>> I've read posts here where you're supposed to roll back the foreskin and then roll forward, with the foreskin goes over the dilator, but mine rarely does,
>Sounds like something you will be able to do later, when it is stretched enough to go back over your glans, even if only when limp.
>> unless the dilator is really small.
>In which case, it won't help much.
>> Otherwise, the elasticity is too tight, and it quickly snaps down on the glans. Maybe some step-by-step instructions would help.
>I see your problem.
>


>Keep asking!

I'll try to visit the hardware shop this weekend and take a look at what I
can find :)


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