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Re: question about unmutilated penis

Written by Paul B. at 10 Sep 2002 15:47:25:

As an answer to: question about uncircumcised penis written by John at 10 Sep 2002 07:18:25:

> my girlfriend and i are getting into a serious relationship, and i wanted to know if i was ever to recieve fellatio from her, should i retract foreskin or leave it on the way it is, and the same question for sex. confused!

You are indeed confused. You appear by the nature of these questions to know very little about sex at all, so I am at somewhat of a loss as to how best to explain it to you.

Essentially, it goes like this: "Sex", is the matter of an activity between a (young; in your case) man and a (young; in your case) woman, the prime object of which is to enjoy the pleasurable responses which are built-in to your bodies, each to be actuated by the proximity and touch of your partner.

In quite uncommon situations, is the object of the exercise to produce a pregnancy, and indeed, unless you have after much serious discussion, completely and unanimously agreed on such an intention, then you must implement in advance, effective contraception. This is to begin with, not an "option", or "something to be considered later".

It is arguable whether condoms can be regarded as effective contraception, especially for novice players, and though it sometimes "gets up people's noses" in discussions, I always argue that unless the girl is using the OCP (Oral Contraceptive Pill) or even better, the Depo-MPA (it means what it means) injection or Implanon, then you have not seriously considered the matter of contraception, and it will rear up and "bite" you.

Now, presuming that matter is dealt with, then your sexual play (and note, if it is not "play" - something is wrong) should be a continuum of exploration of each others' bodies. Fellatio is not a "thing you do" once you get to a certain "stage" following a certain "recipe". It is not a matter of "OK, it's time to suck me, should I pull my foreskin back?". It is simply a name to describe a certain part of the process of enjoying each other.

Your question is in this regard, quite absurd. If somewhere along the way, your penis finds its way into her mouth, which I do imagine as a result of your (mutual) determination, it will, then this should be as the result of her having explored it at some length (sic!), experimented with your foreskin and its abilities to retract, and made her own decision as to which way she would like to sample it in her mouth, just as likely one choice and then the other, for comparison, and even then it is not a matter of choosing one way or the other, rather a bit of both is in fact the "right" answer.

I also hope that this (fellatio - and of course the converse, called "cunnilingus"; as well) will indeed precede what you curiously call "sex", which term actually describes everything including and after you start kissing her, but by which I think you mean intercourse, and more particularly meaning vaginal intercourse.

Again, the same thing applies - there is no "decision" to make. Intercourse is effected by the continuous movement of your foreskin back (as you push in) and forward again (as you pull out). It's not a matter of choice, but rather like the Irishman's answer when asked to check whether the turn indicator lamp was working: "It's alight ... no it's not ... yes it's alight ... no it's not ... "

Does this perhaps relieve your confusion?


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