[ ARC forum 2 ]
Written by Paul B. at 18 Sep 2002 15:22:10: YAPV
As an answer to: New to this site written by JR at 18 Sep 2002 05:50:18:
(Yet Another Phimosis Victim!)
> I've been reading through this site and have concluded that i obviously have a phimosis problem.
Which is to say, you have a foreskin which won't pull back (properly).
> Should i at least try the stretching exercises? - it sounds like i have nothing to lose.
If you mean should you stretch your foreskin so that it will slip back easily, versus leaving it as it is, then yes, I certainly think you will benefit sexually from gaining full foreskin function. Whether there is any medical imperative, it is hard to really say, as being unable to retract the foreskin is as much a protection against nasty things getting in, as it may impair getting debris (mostly: smegma) out.
> would using a cream as well help?
Probably. But there is a distinct feeling amongst those here who have been successful without using "aids" to stretching, that it was easier not to. Certainly, if you try without and are not pleased with the progress, you might try a steroid ointment.
> i would rather not see a doctor if it could be avoided.
The import of Ralesk's pointed question about in what country or state you live, is that doctors in some areas, notably America, tend to be ignorant and unhelpful. So whilst seeing a good doctor for a dangerous condition is always the best course, for this condition, you are likely to do at least as well without!
> right now i still have a good sex life with my girlfriend - she is wonderful and understanding about it.
But about what does she need to be understanding? What actual problem do you feel you have?
> sex isn't painful in any way but initial penetration is usually uncomfortable (especially from behind)
In what way is it uncomfortable, and for whom? "Initial penetration" really should not occur until the girlfriend is literally wetting her panties, albeit if these are already removed, it is probably more appropriate to say, making your hand wet.
In other words, she should already have plenty of lubrication coming out to make it dead easy to slip your penis in, so difficulty getting in her initially because she is dry is not related you your foreskin, but not getting (her) in the right mood. And the expectation that this may be a problem is in itself an inhibitor, particularly for women, of the lubrication you need. In which case, it is permissible to use some artificial, "personal" lubricant to get things going.
So, if sex is not painful, what makes you think your foreskin is in any way a problem? Note: I'm not saying you don't have a problem, I'm just making sure you discern what, if any relationship there is between your observation of phimosis, and some restriction in intercourse.
> and we can only really use the missionary position and sometimes her on top (though extremely gently).
In case what happens?
> also, oral sex is not terribly satisfying because she is worried about being too vigorous and hurting me.
Has she any reason to worry so? Did she ever hurt you, and in what way?
> i would really like to solve this problem, things are ok as they are, but i know my sex life could be better if i didn't have this problem.
And I agree, but think we need to clarify how dealing with the phimosis is going to sort out existing "problems", or in other words, I know what advantages a mobile foreskin should confer on you, but if what you perceive as a problem is different, you might be disappointed.