[ ARC forum 2 ]
Mental Versatility
As an answer to: Re: Foreskin Versatility written by AlfredH at 14 Feb 2003 19:23:04:
> That?s why I react. This denies the right to hate your fraenulum.
A "right to hate your fraenulum", eh? Now, one asks, what other parts of your body do you "hate" in this manner, and why? Do you hate your eyes if you are short-sighted? Does this imply you should have them removed?
Many people do in fact hate their bodies, regrettably. It's a pretty good indicator of serious mental illness. But for that, the treatment is not to cut off the hated part, but - to seek therapy. We have the absolutely immense privilege nowadays of being able to do what previous generations just simply could not - take a medication, albeit perhaps continuously, which is both effective - it really improves the dysphoria (feeling of being out-of-place) - and safe - the side effects of the modern antidepressants and even the recent antipsychotics are mostly neither particularly unpleasant, nor dangerous, a far cry from 20 years ago.
On the other side of the coin, psychotherapy (the "talking" bit,) is not to be forgotten, nor diminished. It may be a little expensive, but even this compared to surgery which will not fix the problem (there is a pronounced tendency for the feelings to transpose to some other part or function of the body), is not so different in cost. And the possibility that discussion on a Web forum - such as this one - may in itself actually constitute psychotherapy (though it certainly could on the other hand be damaging), is not to be dismissed.
> After a period of training there can be a moment of no progress any more.
You've accidentally explained your own point. Of course there may be some setbacks in stretching, particularly if there is a specific reason for the initial tightness, most notably intercurrent Candida ("thrush") infection which is by its very nature a persistent and recurring problem, so you may expect to repeat the treatment for that from time to time. But aside from untreated disease, the presence of actual scarring (not impassable however, in itself) and cessation of the suitable exercises, there is no reason that progress need stop for more than a "moment".
> You really have the choice to leave it that way or find alternatives.
Of course these are choices, but the important choice on facing a delay, is to realise that it is only a temporary delay - when (always, if it is approached correctly) stretching works to start with, it will continue to work, perhaps more slowly for a while, or perhaps other options - of stretching - may be worth exploring.
> That?s an option too! You need not feel guilty for that.
The "it doesn't matter what you do as long as you feel good about it" argument? Hmmm, I can't agree. If you do something wrong, knowing beforehand that it was wrong, then the consequences, including guilt, are hard to avoid and whilst everything may seem OK for the present, later on you may look back with a different view.
> The fraenulum can easily be missed. It?s a lie that tells different things.
Perhaps, perhaps not.
> You will not loose the important feelings necessarily by frenuloplasty.
Perhaps the single most important thing is "empowerment". When you strive to do something, achieve something, and then, eventually, succeed, that is worth something.
And the second most important thing is sadly understated nowadays - patience.
> Try to find more information about this subject on this site.
It's all here. On the forum. The "host" site however is to my mind, just a little odd! 