[ ARC forum 2 ]

Well on the road

Written by Paul B. at 24 Apr 2003 13:55:00:

As an answer to: Slight Phimosis written by Franky T. at 22 Apr 2003 06:21:01:

> I'm 23 and still a virgin, so it's only recently that I've started to understand that not being able to retract my foreskin while having an erection might be a problem for me.

Well, given that as you go on to say, you masturbate quite fine, then the only remaining question you must have to be concerned about, would be what might happen during intercourse? That in turn, divides into two considerations - how would it go if you were to have intercourse with your foreskin forward, or with it retracted but tight as you go on to describe?

Well, there are many men who cannot retract at all, and the vast majority of them whether or not they realise their "oddity", simply - have sex, have families, and consider themselves no different in general to anyone else. It exists, it is fact but it is poorly documented and ignored, and those who assert that such men are somehow "crippled" and "outcasts" are simply blowing off - because there are pretty much the same proportion with functioning foreskin (and at least as many circumcised) who have any given problem with sexual perceptions.

> I do masturbate quite often and I've never had any problem doing it since my foreskin isn't that tight.

But aside from disease, it would not be "tight" anyway. You have - always have had - nocturnal erections whose persistent pressure causes the foreskin to grow however it must to accommodate your glans comfortably. How it grows is the variable - if it happens not to grow widthways to allow the glans to pass through, then it must needs grow in length instead to allow for erection. As you obviously know, the outer foreskin is able to slide back and forth in the inner to provide "lubrication", and masturbation is quite convenient.

> Now I have tried on a number of occasion to masturbate with the foreskin retracted all the way to try and stretch it in the hopes that eventually, it would become easier.

And it no doubt will, but masturbation does not provide sustained stretch, so the stretching effect will be quite limited.

> the moment I become eevn a little less hard, it stops hurting so I guess it's not that tight. I never got stuck so I don't think there's any danger of paraphimosis.

People are frequently confused by paraphimosis. It is most unlikely indeed to affect a "competent" person in the situation you describe. It is primarily associated with cognitive impairments such as early childhood, intoxication or anaesthesia or gross debility such as senility, and with retraction more forcible than said "competent" person would permit if fully conscious.

That your foreskin is tight only over an erection, clearly demonstrates that losing the erection - as you would do if scared about the condition - will resolve the concern, and in the event it did not, you would have the resolve to apply whatever force was necessary to pull the foreskin forward again.

> I hope you're not frightened by all the creepy details

Hardly.

> I start masturbating using lots of lubrication and after a minute or two it stops being painful. I just rub the glans and leave the foreskin under the ridge and once started, the foreskin doesn't seemed too stretched anymore.

It stretches just enough to accommodate, and your skin (nerves) adapt to recognise that although there is significant stretching occurring, it is not a degree which is going to cause damage (tearing).

> I did realize that attaining orgasm that way takes quite a bit longer and requires lubrication but are much stronger than with the foreskin on.

This demonstrates a number of interesting details. One is that the quality of stimulation applied preferentially to the glans - given that your foreskin is at that point "locked" immobile and thereby less sensitive than otherwise - is different to that where the foreskin and fraenulum area is involved. It (the glans) is indeed "sensitive", but not always conducive to getting an orgasm, (so that that is slower) and can easily be too "strong" and in fact, uncomfortable.

A particular reason for the slower orgasm is that you have to be so careful to control the glans stimulation exactly right - not too much, not too little, and adequate lubrication, that each little variation from the "right" way inhibits the build-up. Also, it is quite difficult to compare this with the much more consistent stimulation and lubrication with the vagina affords.

> Having never had sex, I don't know if this could cause me harm in the future.

Perhaps, perhaps not. I tend to advise, or suggest, that you should treasure the special sensitivity that your infrequently exposed glans has, on the basis that what is "too sensitive" for manual stimulation other than with the foreskin covering, will be absolutely exquisite when applied to a wet (= prepared; enthusiastic) vagina. I really suggest you make no deliberate attempts to "de-sensitise" it until you are in a position to appreciate its full potential for vaginal intercourse.

> Are there stretching exercise that could help

Indeed. Remember what "exercise" is. Think of those guys spending an hour a day in the gym or on a bike - that is exercise, ten seconds a day stretching, is not. You have to pick somewhere between these extremes.

Specifically, you want your foreskin to widen, and you should definitely be able to get two fingertips inside the foreskin (while flaccid) and just pull them outward, holding this stretch a minute or two, repeating this so many times each day, every day for some weeks. Once you see the improvement, you will automatically want to keep doing it until you achieve the looseness you require during erection.

> or is some kind of circumcision preferable?

To say that, you have essentially forgotten what circumcision is - you presently have an undeniably sensitive foreskin, circumcision means cutting off the sensitive foreskin, always taking the most sensitive part at very minimum.

At the very worst as sensitivity goes, with your foreskin "jammed" behind the glans, you approximate a circumcised man - his foreskin can slide neither to "stroke" the glans during either masturbation or intercourse, and it cannot function to keep the moisture in during intercourse. And if you focus on stroking the glans, you will tend to reduce that to the sensitivity level of a circumcised man. You could be little worse than the situation of a circumcised man, and you only need to do some stretching to have a fully functioning slide-back-and-forth foreskin, so just how you could imagine circumcision to be useful, is difficult to conceive.


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