As an answer to: Re: Dorsal Slit written by Leila at 20 Oct 2005 17:57:14:
Hi Leila,
Firstly you could compare the (not too good) pics of a dorsal slit on www.male-initiation.net/circumcision/dorsal3.html
the last picture taken 6 wks. after operation, is the only picture I have online . How you describe your sons dorsal is that his is a far deeper slit ... I am glad to know that there is still a full "overhang" - this means that there is enough spare skin for a plastic surgeon to cut in "Y"s and "Z"s to repair the dorsal and make a normal looking foreskin.
A far more interesting page for you at this point would be www.male-initiation.net/frenulum_studies.html#treatment
This first study describes the basics of plastic surgery, and I just think it would be good for you to understand the processes involved. I havent actually imagined how these techniques could be applied to dorsal repair - because Im sure plastic surgeons are far more competent at working that out.
Im rather glad as well that the son with the problem is the older son. I would think his comparison with peer group is most disturbing for him - I can imagine that it is they who started making him unsure of his equipment .... anyway thats all speculation ... you say its "Dad" ... so , who am I to judge ---
I can reassure you that the flaps are no problem at all to love making from all Ive heard, But I feel the most important points are psychological and if hes not happy then we must do something.
What I would really like to do, if this was my kid and I had the resources, (which are probably available somewhere online - try CIRCLIST) would be to show him various pictures of how his foreskin could be re-formed and ask him what he wanted, --- he has to feel proud of it - and at best that this is his own choice.
There is no way I can see that a plastic surgeon can ever return the long narrowed overhang which is typical of the natural male - and no reason to do this, I believe optimal for your son is if it looked like a partial circumcision - sorry Ive no pics, can you maybe imagine how a partial circ. looks? - simply with no overhang.
I mean you know your son a little better than I do, I cant really say how long to wait etc. - I would normally say it is vital to correct this before puberty, but if he is aware of a problem at age 7 then he needs this treated soon ... its like everything else ... rushing into it without forethought or preparation is not a good idea ... if he has 6 months to look forward to it - to go to first consultations .. to realise whats going to happen and when and want it and then together with a Birthday or trip to the zoo or some special occasion - then I feel the whole episode can be healed as best possible.
This may all be very naive of me - I mean one thing I dont know about, is if one performs plastic sugery on the small and growing body, is this going to develop evenly as he grows bigger ... If you find out the answer to that Id be interested. (Could this mean he needs one op. now and another later when hes bigger? Im fairly sure with skin tissue that this will need only one operation its not the same situation as breast ops. with foreskins, its only skin tissue which is growing).
I think thats all I can say at present - except that I would rather like to know any developments ... now or even in 10 yrs. time.
cheers
Robin
>Hi Robin,
>We live in Canada in a small rural community. And my oldest son (who has the dorsal slit ) is six and his brother is only 17months old. My oldest often asks why we did the surgery and I have explained to him that it was necessary. he has also saked why he doesn't look like his friends who have intact foreskins. (I guess that it is normal for them to check what each other has in terms of equipement.) I just wonder how long we should wait before we get him plastic surgery, if that is what he wants. Can the surgery wait until he is older? What kind of psychological effects will this have on him when he is older? (ie girls, sex, etc) My husband is worried that sex will be difficult if remains with the flap? My son's flap seems to be rather long. It looks like an extra long unbottoned sleeve. It kind of just hangs there, I don't know hoe to really explain it except with the sleeve analogy. As for dad having surgery. we wouldn't be having this problem if dad wasn't so hung up on the fact that his son's penis is deformed, his words not mine and never in front of our son, that for him to do the same to his would certainly be out of the question.
>thank you for all your help so far,
>Leila
