FRENULUM and CONDOMS

Hi there.
Thanks for the reply. But don't worry, I'm no anti or pro circer fanatic. I'm far too uninformed for that....!

I'd like to stress first of all that this is something which I would rarely consider doing. It's the first real correspondence I've made, but I'm prepared to give it a go. I've only been on-line for a few month's, but have discovered that if you're prepared to filter through most of the crap on the internet, then it can be an amazing resource.

Which leads me neatly onto your site, but let me give you a little detail about myself: 19 yo male, active and healthy, from a quiet family of married parents and one brother. I'm no extrovert, or excessively confident either, and since our family unit is not particularly open or close it makes discussing these matters too embarrassing all round to even attempt(!)

Not sure what relevance this might have, but it puts you in the picture.

Anyway, to get to the point. I first noticed that my foreskin was tight when I was about nine or ten. At that age it was impossible to retract it anyway near the base of the glans even in a flaccid state, but it was fun (although painful) trying! Anyway, at that age it's not something you worry about. I was too busy playing football to care. You don't expect to have any flaws in your body, and if you do then you don't expect them to impact upon your life.

I think I first realised that there might actually be something wrong when I first practiced with condoms. I can't remember at what age this was - probably in a mid-teen phase. But I found them very difficult to put on properly. I remember reading the instuction leaflet and seeing "roll back foreskin fully" glaring at me. 'Okay', I thought 'I'll roll back my foreskin as far as it will go, put on the condom and let it roll forward again'. Simple!. You must remember that in the beginning of all this, I thought that every man was the same, and that it was a problem everyone had to overcome. It was something I'd just have to get used to.

Eventually I'd get the condom on, using a combination of both hands legs and maybe even feet(?!) to hold my foreskin back near the base of the glans while I struggled to roll it on. Once in place the foreskin would naturally roll forward (quite naturally so, since that always happened), and eventually the tip of the condom would rip, time after time. But sometimes it didn't, and I convinced myself then that I didn't really have a problem, and it was more likely the fault of the condom itself. In hindsight I wasn't really pulling hard, just keeping the movements short subconciously in order to prevent too much strain on the tip of the condom.

At some point it dawned that I perhaps did have a fault. I can't pinpoint this, but maybe after reading "roll foreskin back" in every packet of three one too many times, a stream of split condoms, and the difficulty I had in actually getting the things on, kinda convinced me...

It was by chance that I heared about the frenuloplasty. I read about it in an advice column in a mens magazine in the dentists surgery when I was about 16. The doctor had given advice to the writer who complained of a tight foreskin, and pain when making love. The word frenuloplasty stayed with me.

At 17, I got sexually active for the first time. I spent a week with a long distance girlfriend determined to make love. Foreplay was fine, but I was struck down by condoms. Again I found it difficult to put them on, struggling to pull them over my glans and foreskin, which by this age could be retracted to the base of the glans when erect but would still roll forward by itself. During the first penetration the condom split. This led to a lot of panic and a close shave with an unwanted pregnancy. I haven't had a sexual relationship since.

By curiosity I reached your site a few months ago after going on line. The search under frenuloplasty took me there, and it could turn out to be the most useful I've visited.

So there's the background.

From what I can gather I suffer primarily from frenulum breve. When I retract my foreskin it pulls the glans forward (or downwards?). It rolls back of it's own accord, and I can only reach the base of the glans when first erect - although a little further after masturbation. As I said, at a young age I couldn't even reach that far when flaccid, so there has been some progress I suppose.

I also picked up on phimosis, or the phimotic ring(?). The foreskin does seem particularly tight in one area more than any other. The skin forms a ring and this is tipped with a small lump of skin, where the pain seems to occurr.

I can't really make any sort of clarification between which is more likely - phimosis or frenulum breve - without an expert opinion. I haven't yet visited a GP, but know that I have to do it sooner rather than later. I start at University in October, and would obviously like it sorted before then.

It's just a matter of courage I guess, but I have two main fears; firstly the embarrassment for me, and the doctor. And secondly, that he won't know enough about the subject to form a correct opinion and simply recommend a full circumcision - the last thing that I want.

Anyway, I thought that this information may be useful to you, to provide information and help for others. There is certainly a great deal of ignorance surrounding the subject, and I can't help but feel that more people are suffering the problem in silence than you imagine, simply because of a lack of awareness. A thorough statistical investigation really should be carried out.

I can't believe sometimes that I left school without even hearing about the frenulum, or phimosis, and despair when I know that this should really have been done at birth. It makes me both embarrassed and angry that I spent all of these years under the illusion that no male could ever fully retract their foreskin(!).

If you have any questions feel free to ask, I'll answer as honestly as I can.

But I will seek the proper medical advice thanks to your site. And I will keep you well informed of the process throughout, from start to finish, if you wish.

Yours, for now,

------------------------
Thanks for the letter,
>There is certainly a great deal of
>ignorance surrounding the subject, and I can't help but feel that more
>people are suffering the problem in silence than you imagine, simply because
>of a lack of awareness. A thorough statistical investigation really should
>be carried out.

I suspect that the vast majority of men with such problems, are confused by our cultural myth that "everyone's normal" ... I suspect that the only voices which have been raised on this subject are the fanatical antis or pros, those men who have had vivid conscious experiences, ... its far too embarrassing for people like us to talk about our experiences because of our other cultural myth "all sexual problems are psychological" ... I express this all better on line ... apologies for condensed version ...

Your experiences with condoms are also familiar, I had one fly across the room, I presume this was the spring action of the frenulum - with the ring of the phimosis hitched behind the glans it made a perfect missile launching ramp.

>>From what I can gather I suffer primarily from frenulum breve. When I
>retract my foreskin it pulls the glans forward (or downwards?). It rolls >back of its own accord

This is a perfect description of frenulum breve, however I dont understand the following

>and I can only reach the base of the glans when
>first erect - although a little further after masturbation.

The only thing fren. br. can be confused with is a skin bridge .... ? a brief look at the summary of the conditions, ... is it a wall of skin, or just a single bridge between foreskin and glans?

>I also picked up on phimosis, or the phimotic ring(?). The foreskin does
>seem particularly tight in one area more than any other. The skin forms a
>ring and this is tipped with a small lump of skin, where the pain seems to
>occurr.
>
>I can't really make any sort of clarification between which is more likely
>phimosis or frenulum breve - without an expert opinion.

You probably have both, as I had, --- what is particularly confusing is the little lump of skin, this almost sounds like a little wart ... ?

>And secondly, that he won't know
>enough about the subject to form a correct opinion and simply recommend a
>full circumcision

You need to get well informed to guard against doctors with routine answers,

maybe check the skin bridge?, but you seem to know that you need a frenuloplasty, or frenulotomy, then possibly, very probably in fact, if yours is the remnant of an infant phimotic ring, then it should stretch ... do you want to attempt this, or go for a half circ. or a dorsal slit ...?

good luck
Robin