INITIATION SHOCK

Robin,
I just finished reading your 'Diary of an Initiation' on the web and related to most things that you said.

I am a 26 year old uncircumcised virgin. A few years ago, I was going out with a girl and realized that something was different with my penis. We were fooling around in bed and I was shocked to discover that the head of my penis was completely exposed due to a severe erection. This had never happened before and shocked me so much that it put an end to our intimate moment. I had always thought that the foreskin should always cover the entire penis, even during sex. I developed a masturbation technique as a young boy that did not involve retraction. Based on the information on your web site, I have come to realize that I must seek treatment for this condition.

One of the other things that bothers me is that I never have cleaned the head of my penis while taking baths and fear that there is infection. The tip of the head appears to be purple... Should it not be red?.

I have experimented with trying to retract the foreskin and it feels very unatural and even a bit painful. I have not gotten past half my glands and feel resistance at that point. Could this be due to fear more than a physical disorder?

I would greatly appreciate your advice.

I have been going through your material on the web and really appreciate your efforts. I can really relate to the psychological effects experienced by men suffering from these malformations. I also grew up thinking that I was normal.

I would never even wash myself properly thinking that my glands should never be touched (sort of like eyeballs). My first and only experience with a woman was so traumatic that I thought that I was meant to have intercourse. It was only when I stumbled onto your web page that I finally found the answer to what had been eluding me for so long.

Thanks for your wonderful research and the detailed account of your own personal history.