This site discusses phimosis in its specific forms of phimotic ring, frenulum breve, adhesions or skinbridges. During erection these conditions inhibit the relationship between foreskin and glans. This functionally restricts the erection, and thus has an effect on the sexuality. With our culture's attitudes on health care, it would be appropriate to encourage early prevention.

Jan 2021 : Please read the new summary.

CURB YOUR CURIOSITY

collected from arc Youth Forum (now deleted)

Curb Your Curiosity
20 Feb 2005 17:19:09 - Guy

I just discovered this entire site and have been reading for HOURS... I hope maybe this little post might help some boys. I wish I had the information available on this site when I was young. And I'll apologize in advance for the length of this post. At any rate, on with my story...

When I was 13, we moved from the US to England. Being American, I was set back a year, so that while of 3rd Form age, I was in the 2nd Form. I quickly discovered that I was the ONLY boy in the entire school who was circumcised. As a result, I was stared at a lot in the changing room and showers. I, too, was curious because, prior to moving, I'd only seen one boy who was NOT circumcised. On to the point of this message....

When I was about 14, my parents were staying in Amsterdam so I spent that weekend at a friend's house (Kevin). He was openly curious about my penis and, when his parents were out, he asked if we could just remain naked and I agreed. He then asked me to masturbate while he watched. I was too embarassed to do that so he asked me if I would masturbate him. I was very curious about a natural penis so I agreed.

Kevin was 13 and only just starting puberty; he had just a few pubic hairs and his penis was still fairly small. Kevin laid on the couch and already had an erection. I sat on the floor next to him. What happened next surprised both of us. I held his penis with my thumb and two fingers and started to pump it, as I would do with my own penis, but he cried out in pain! I didn't know what I'd done to hurt him and he didn't know what I was doing in pulling down on his penile skin. We stopped immediately, of course, and then talked about it.

Well, if you've done ANY reading at all on this website, you'll know what the problem was. It was simply that his foreskin was still too tight to retract. I've since learned that this is very common in boys whose penises are still natural. But, since I was circumcised as a baby, I had no idea. My method for masturbation was simply stroking up and down. But, for Kevin, that was not possible so had his own way of doing it.

Fortunately, as I said, we stopped right away and no damage was done. And I know now that a boy's best bet is to manipulate his foreskin and that, baring any complications (thoroughly described on this website) when his penis is ready, he will be able to fully retract it. I've also read that the only person who really knows when that time has come, is the boy himself, not some doctor or a curious friend!

So my point here is just this - boys will be boys and their curiosity can put them in situations like I just described so if you're with a friend and experimenting, do NOT force anyone else's foreskin to do anything that's uncomfortable. Each boy has his own limit; you can not expect your penises to be the same, so don't assume that was feels good for you will feel good for him.

Relax, have fun, and LEARN from this website.

Thanks. - Guy

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Dont Curb Your Curiosity
09 Mar 2005 18:13:50 - Robin

Dear Guy,

Thanks - your experience is relevant and well told - and thank you for all your golden words of support for my site --- so now, please let me try and show you a different interpretation for your experience.

"And I know now that a boy's best bet is to manipulate his foreskin and that, baring any complications (thoroughly described on this website) when his penis is ready, he will be able to fully retract it."

- unless there are any complications - this must always be included in such a sentance, - - we wish so strongly to be normal that we would happily avoid recognising any problem.

"I've also read that the only person who really knows when that time has come, is the boy himself,"

You read this on an anti circumcision site and it is a dangerous generalisation - sounds morally and politically correct and almost poetic in its "truth" - but there are conditions which the brave young hunter never realise himself, even sometimes well after first love relations have begun

With some conditions it is so unnatural to retract the foreskin that there is a BLIND SPOT physically and psychologically. - it is normal that people avoid pain and discomfort - one learns very clearly that "my foreskin doesnt retract yet - and the uncle on the forum said Im sure to know myself and that no doctor or no-one else need ever tell me ... "

From my own experience for example, when I was about 30 and read in a male sexual advice book: that circumcision is needed when retraction of the foreskin is painful or difficult, I thought well mine simply doesnt retract so that doesnt apply to me, and I never gave it two thoughts.

I accepted myself as I am and I needed telling very very clearly - at best a doctor should have monitored this before puberty and informed my parents.... I very definately needed someone else to tell me earlier. - Consider this - you probably saved your old mate Kevin a lot of confusion and problems.

If it hurt on retraction, then frenulum breve is the most probable diagnosis, so you probably saved Kevin a very embarrassing first love experience. ... Imagine also his first girl friend could easily have done what you did.

Very often problems are discovered in first experiments with other people, who do something which the owner had never thought of doing ... and this is infinitely better than years of avoiding and subconsciously adapting to the problem.

So sorry to criticise your well meant advice, but I think kids should not (and hopefully will never be able to) curb their curiosity.

And best would be (and appropriate to normal modern medical care) if doctors were trained to diagnose the flaccid (soft) penis - and then could perform checks before puberty, ... - if we wait till a boy discovers his own problems - not only will he already have experienced a few years inhibition - but then to top it all he is left alone again to sort out an impossibly embarrassing situation, -

young boys under 16 (probably under18 in some countries) need parental permission for an operation ... and not just that their Mum drags them to the local hospital for the routine full circ. - My God its a hell of a situation - ten times more complicated than an adult who needs guiding through the labyrinth - thats why I wanted a special forum for this subject.

Cheers
Rob.

Aug 2005: PS our communication continued amicably on the Youth Forum, above is the essential story - Rob