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PART III - Doctors Know Everything

Written by chImp at 02 Sep 2004 20:30:40:

As an answer to: My Full And Honest Experience With Phimosis written by chImp at 02 Sep 2004 20:13:18:

PART III - Doctors Know Everything

The spring/summer months of 2002 were a hell for me.
I understood something was seriously wrong with me,
I was mistaken about what it was. I knew I wouldn't
have much of a sensation if I were to have sex.
I came across all those numerous Internet sites that
tell you how bad it is to be circumcised. I thought
I was circed myself, though in reality it was quite
the opposite - I had a tight foreskin and have never
seen my own glans.

I was filled with rage and depression that I was robbed
of something important. I was vehemently anti-circ at
that time, and I have had a distaste for Routine Infant Circumcision
ever since. Muslims and Jews do it to their children, and so do
about 50% of American parents.

Even worse: as I understand now, my urine was collecting
itself underneath my foreskin (it was virtually trapped), which
lately caused unpleasant sensations when I was walking or touching my
penis.

I had a problem, and everytime I heard the word "circumcision",
it reminded me. Whenever I walked, it reminded me. Whenever I saw
people have sex on TV or masturbated myself, it reminded me.

So finally I went to the doctor. It was a female doctor, and I told
her ("The top of my penis bothers me - that's glans isn't it? And oh,
I was circumcised when I was an infant because I had phimosis"). That statement couldn't be further from the truth.

So, guess what she told me? She studied my penis closely and gave
me some cream or whatever to put it there. I were to return in a couple
of weeks if there was no improvement.

No "What are you, crazy? You're not circumcised at all. Where did
you get that absurd idea?". Just the perscription for the cream.
Apparently, some female doctors do know the difference between
circumcised and uncircumcised("intact").

Luckily, when I came back, I appointed a male doctor as my GP. He
told me exactly what I didn't hear the last time. He immideately
put me on waiting list for an operation (I think, maybe a "dorsal slit", certainly not a circumcision).

That was September 9th 2002, the WORST day of my life. Because when I
came back to my apartment, I collapsed. I didn't understand ANYTHING.
Depression is when you don't bother doing anything. What I had is this:
EVERY single thought led to PAIN. Not only could I not do anything but
lie on the bed, I couldn't even THINK about anything, because that led
to a mental AGONY.

I never ever had experienced such a mental state in my life- not before
that day, nor ever after.

After a few days I calmed down. I becan to understand a bit more about
how the penis works. And I accepted that I had to undergo that surgery.
I just waited for that letter in the mailbox that would say that
it was my turn.

However, I was utterly depressed. I had no faith in doctors. How could
they slice open my foreskin, and everything suddenly would be OK?
Like I never had phimosis?

The answer is: it would NOT be OK. I later came across pictures of what a dorsal slit looks like. On those pictures, half the glans is exposed.
And the foreskin is cut on opposit sides. That did not look good, and
all the anti-circ material reminded me how fast I will lose the sensitivity
of the glans if nothing covers it.

What I wanted, was to have a penis that would look and function as if
I grew up WITHOUT phimosis. That operation failed that test.

So, I just waited for my operation. But then something fascinating happened to me.


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