As an answer to: Re: Dorsal Slit written by Robin at 19 Oct 2005 20:44:57:
Hi Robin,
We live in Canada in a small rural community. And my oldest son (who has the dorsal slit ) is six and his brother is only 17months old. My oldest often asks why we did the surgery and I have explained to him that it was necessary. he has also saked why he doesn't look like his friends who have intact foreskins. (I guess that it is normal for them to check what each other has in terms of equipement.) I just wonder how long we should wait before we get him plastic surgery, if that is what he wants. Can the surgery wait until he is older? What kind of psychological effects will this have on him when he is older? (ie girls, sex, etc) My husband is worried that sex will be difficult if remains with the flap? My son's flap seems to be rather long. It looks like an extra long unbottoned sleeve. It kind of just hangs there, I don't know hoe to really explain it except with the sleeve analogy. As for dad having surgery. we wouldn't be having this problem if dad wasn't so hung up on the fact that his son's penis is deformed, his words not mine and never in front of our son, that for him to do the same to his would certainly be out of the question.
thank you for all your help so far,
Leila>
Hello Leila,
>This is a tricky question or row of questions.
>OK practical answers first, dorsal slit can be repaired only with plastic surgery, this will not return it to the full foreskin that Dad and brother have, but will make it more similar, giving the effect of a partial circumcision ie. without the overhang, - and I imagine any cosmetic surgeon would consider himself the right person to do this sort of operation. The biggest pain is merely the time trouble cost and anaethetists jab. Which country are you living in?
>I truly consider that with the present day medical professions education on these subjects, that no parent can be blamed for anything, often parents are advised simply to ignore phimosis or fully circumcise, I would consider any conservative action like yours to be better than any of these drastic options. SO please dont feel any guilt whatsoever.
>If he is unhappy, then to me it is definately worth doing something "for his psyche" - having problems ignored is probably the worst thing to do for anyone.
>How old is your son?? how old is his brother?
>I suppose the first obvious thing is when you say that: we don't think it does look normal ... and do I assume that you dont think it looks good at all? ...
>So actually no-one - probably including the brother can tell him honestly that he has a handsome looking penis. I imagine that on the flaccid penis, his dorsal slit curves round at the end like a brandy glass (or a crocus flower) -
>I am wondering about his age and his sense of individuality and independance, because I feel this considerably influences my answer. Has he any special individual wishes? might he develop individual wishes in a few years time? One simple adjustment might be to cut off the flaps, so that it formed a "V" shape - however if he wants to look like Dad, - and this involves cosmetic surgery, then one could ask him how he would like his foreskin to look, so has he any special wishes, to maybe make it look even better than Dad.
>(I suppose another option is that Dad gets a dorsal slit or a partial circumcision (overhang removal) - I could happily warn "Dad" that in old age he will almost certainly need an operation to cure the fibrotic phimosis which is typical for over 70s - and so maybe he could be called upon now to set a good example - I realise "Dad" will probably go through the roof at this suggestion, but Im only looking at options)
>If cosmatic surgery is necessary then I would think in terms of making a special occasion of the event, eg. as part of Birthday present.
>Hope that helps - Im here every Wednesday if youve other questions
>Cheers
>Robin
>
>
>>Hi,
>> I am mom who decide after many question to the doctor and alot of research( or so I thought) to use the dorsal slit method on my son to relieve his phimosis. I had previously had his foreskin stretched and it had not helped. The specialist that we saw said the dorsal slit would be the best solution for my son. It has been a year and half since the surgery and my son is now asking me why he looks different than his brother and father. I have explained to him why the doctor did the surgery and he understands all that but wants to now when he can have his penis fixed to look like dad's. Is there any way to repair a dorsal slit? How painful is it? Is it worthwhile for his psyche? The specialist who did the surgery said not to worry that it will look relatively normal but we don't think it does. he is the only specialist we have in our area, would he even consider repairing something that he doesn't think is a problem? I need help with these questions. I feel like I let my son down in some way and that I may have ruined his future life as a man. Please Help us!!
>>Mom with questions
