Firstly, let me say I think this "third way" approach
is exactly what is needed when it comes to problems of
male penile and sexual health, and I really appreciate
the work you've done developing these forums.
Even after reading so many messages and experiences of
frenuloplasty and circumcision, though, I still am
sort of stuck in terms of what to do, or whether to do
anything, about my situation. I guess that's 'cause
everyone's willy is unique! Also, my situation is not
as extreme as many.
I'm 30 years old, and I tore my frenulum a few years
back. This never would have happened had I not been
engaged in some really stupid sexual maneuvres with
not nearly enough lubrication, as I had never had any
indication of a thin or tight frenulum, or any
foreskin problems. I applied some calendula salve to
it and it healed well within a month.
The thing is, my frenulum now feels tighter and
doesn't give me pleasure as it used to, especially
during oral sex. Whereas I used to really enjoy the
sensations given by the stretching of the frenulum, I
only really notice now when my lover's teeth come into
contact, and it doesn't feel very nice - not exactly
painful, but not nice either. The other change that I
really don't appreciate is that my foreskin, which
used to just cover the glans pretty evenly all around,
now protrudes more on the underside and looks more
flabby when flacid, owing to the way the frenulum
thickened somewhat when it healed and therefore seems
to push the foreskin foreward more on the underside in
closed position, and this means I have to pull the
foreskin back a little in order to pee straight, which
I didn't have to do before.
As for intercourse, it's fine as long as there's
enough lubrication, but I wonder if the frenulum could
tear again when I'm much older, as I understand older
women nearing menopause don't lubricate as much
naturally.
So all in all, I don't have a serious immediate
problem, but I REALLY miss the way my penis was
before. I didn't have to be so careful not to pull
back too tightly or hard on the foreskin. That used
to be pleasurable, whereas now the frenulum is thicker
(and I worry it could break again), and the foreskin
doesn't move quite as far back or as freely as it used
to.
I don't really want to be circumcised, although some
say that this works for frenulum problems, as little
skin is left to pull on it, which is intriguing, and
of course I'm curious as to whether it might feel
better because of that. As for frenuloplasty, I've
read your experience that the foreskin actually gets
longer after it, and I certainly don't want that, as
my foreskin already appears longer on the underside
than it used to, but without frenuloplasty I worry
that it may tear agin in the future.
The option that I've been living with is to just try
to accept the way my body has changed and make sure
that I'm careful not to tear it again, by using plenty
of lube and generally being careful not to yank (or
have it yanked) too hard.
