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Abstinence

Youre not the first and you wont be the last with this - so heres a few notes and ideas to form a basis for future thinking.

Written by Robin at 15 Jun 2005

Hi,
I keep thinking about this 6 weeks abstinence - and I presume the docs said it, as though its easy ... for a young man in Summer, with sex on every corner. ...

First I wonder if there is any drug which could help - we must ask Gary who is quite an expert on opiates, and one thread before you, - (I have asked him). If youve a helpful (normal) doctor or any friends in the scene, then ask around. - Maybe we could induce a coma for 6 weeks?!! - (naturally note that non medical drugs and alchohol are generally going to weaken the will power, so are not advisable)

Drugs might make it easier - but mainly I think the problem is keeping your mind off the subject.

You must see it as a challenge, and take the challenge to find out new areas of growth in you.

I am no expert - I held out for 2 weeks after the circumcision op. and then a month (around a year after my injury - much too late) - sometimes during these times I felt very numb lifeless and depressed - this is not only psychological, - I read about this symptom in Taoist (chinese) literature, the enzymes in your testicular hormone factory are suddenly unemployed and everything gets lethargic, if you want to fight the lethargy, ice cubes or cold water on your balls might be helpful.

For a young man in Summer this challenge is going to be tricky, and if you cant keep it up then I certainly wouldnt criticise you - youve had no support -

Lets understand the point, which as I understand it, is not to put the corpus cavernoso under strain.

You will find ice packs useful. Particularly getting to sleep might be tricky, so maybe sleeping pills would be useful.

Then lets just go through the obvious joke like actually what you need is something like a prison - a dark room and no sex TV - back to Westerns and old movies on the public senders -

May be this would be the appropriate time to pack a rucksack and go explore the wilds of Canada up North where its cold and everyone wears thick duffle coats -- either that or the Sahara where all the beautiful women wear Bourkas - (borchas?)

I was amazed in Asia how I just didnt think of sex for a few weeks, when I was around 20yrs. old, and there was simply no sex for sale in every advert, and no mini skirts, and most of the Western women would adapt to the local culture. So nows the time for a trip to Islamic lands if that interests you.

I have already said take up prayer - see this more broadly - Use the opportunity to learn about religions and abstinence and ascetic hermit living. - Probably catholic Chritianity is not too much help here - unless you feel its a sin which will send you to hell - but maybe helpful is to see it as a desire which can be controlled, so Id suggest you start with a good dose of Buddhism - not all the Tibetan mystic or tantric stuff, - you need good old fashioned basic stuff like the 4 noble truths ... breathing, awareness and letting go ... in my opinion the Foundations of Mindfulness or the Satipatthana Sutra would be good ... Any basic description of Buddhist thinking should include this.

Any reading would be good - if not Buddhism then Irish nonsense - you have to start not just stopping yourself thinking about sex - you have to start thinking about other things - do you play music? practice lots - do you paint - do it lots - give yourself some alternative interest to sex.

Was thinking the Christian way would encourage the love in you. Once you can override this longing in your belly - then you might well find you start seeing girls differently, (I mean thank God you can still fall in love, even though you cant have sex for 6 weeks!) ... The sex drive is magnified beyond all proportion by the commercial world, (and Im not immune) ... Buddhism (again) will guide you through being aware of the thought in your head which moves the longing in your belly and then letting go of it ... (I experience a sort of emptiness deep down there when I want to masturbate - but hold back for some reason).

Maybe also part of the answer could be helped by diet, in that if your stomach is full then you dont want sex (Im thinking of when Im bloated after Christmas feasting) - maybe even vedgetarian or Yin foods (yin and yang: eg. yang is meat - yin is vedge) - so maybe the baked beans and porrage werent such bad ideas after all!

you could also think of therapy methods between accupuncture and counselling to help you over the 6 weeks ...

well - its just a few ideas and a bit more belated support.

and I hope all is as well as it can be...

Im going on holiday next week - and then have a round of relations and old friends to do, so it will be around 2 weeks at the earliest, before I get online again.

lol
Robin

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Written by me again at 28 Jun 2005

thanks man for all the support. I truly appreciate all the advice and will definately take note of it. I'm sorry for the short responses but even though we're strangers, you're still reaching me with certain points that I am discovering right now- as I am trying to cope with this to the best of my abilities too, and trying to make it a positive experience- even with the setbacks.

lol about the girls thing. that is so true- to use this experience to try to control lust and instead try to make friends.

and therapy too would be a good idea too to rid me of some of the psycho-sexual inadequacies at this point. lol

as far as my faith- i'm trying and its satisfying

btw you seem to know quite a bit about the buddhist ways, and I'm just curious- what's the fourth truth? I'm sorry if i read it wrong but I only saw three.

and by the way, thanks for everything buddy. God bless you man.

goodbye,

from Hopefully I'll Be ok!

p.s. abstinence, ah..... its been about 4 weeks now i think- and yes pills help to keep it down! It's interesting though what you said about the testicular lethargy- in fact I feel like thats what's happening to me right now. So ice you said would help? Wow! it's just to damn bad that i'm too non-compliant to use it. lol
Perhaps it would still help me at this point, but who knows?
Anyways see you later, and I will keep in mind your suggestion about helping out others in the same area after this whole debacle is done. Hopefully I can educate others from this experience just as you have passed on your knowledge as well.

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Written by Robin at 07 Jul 2005

Hello me again who hopefully will be Ok,

Don’t even worry about short or distraught answers at this point, when things settle down one way or the other - then you might find space and time to digest all your experiences. (and tell us more eg. Which pills you are using).

Its all very difficult and crazy to deal with, I feel like I only half way succeed, but that is far better than failing.

The fourth truth in Buddhism?? – I never said the other three – so I think you misunderstood me. … If youre interested, I feel it is essential to start with the central message, rather than all the later developments. Actually the best way to do this would be get hold of a couple of books on comparative religion, and read the chapter on Buddhism. If you don’t find the “four noble truths” and “the eightfold path” then chuck the book away.

And then you could read the Taoist Chapter.

A couple of times recently when I felt randy and wanted to subdue it (cos you cant have a wank in the middle of a conversation with your parents), I worked on an “inner breathing circle” – and I guess this is explained best in the Taoist literature, … the Tao stems from ancient China … around 600 BC (the same time as Buddha) and as Buddhism spread East, it mixed with Taoism to develop into Zen in Japan. Anyway the basics are far too long to explain and you need a book. (I would think it’s a fairly useful thing for you to do at this time, ...find another purpose in life apart from sex ...).

...edited ...

Good luck, God bless and I hope all goes good

Rob

 


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