As an answer to: Frenulum Breve written by Sav at 09 Mar 2006 19:47:07:
Hi Sav,
Firstly I must say I am not a doctor.
To answer your question I feel I have to appeal to your common sense.
You approached a Urologist and he told you that your "foreskin looks
normal and that I may want to wait until my first sexual contact to
see if I do indeed experience any difficulty."
Doesnt this seem remarkable? - I presume that the urologist did not
see your erect penis, and also did not enquire about it? and all he
can say is go forth into the joy and amazing experience of first
intercourse with someone you love with the possibility that something
will go wrong, ... and did he not even say what might go wrong?
Modern medicine will soon be able to predict the medical future from
all your genes, but still does not understand foreskin problems, even
when confronted directly with a problem. (... naturally a
generalisation which applies to many but not all urologists).
I can guarantee that with a frenulum breve, your intercourse will not
be as enjoyable as it could be, the frenulum will either rip or be
sore afterwards, or maybe your future wife will touch you in some new
way or area which will be unpleasant ... I give one of these a 100%
chance, and if you miss this with the nerves and everything on the
first time, then it will catch you on the second!
If we go into detail and you describe your frenulum as thin almost
translucent, then I would guess it will rip; if it is tough and thick,
then this will more likely lead to soreness.
First then in my appeal to common sense, is your own undeniable
experience that retracting the foreskin fully causes pain (naturally
this is only really of any relevance to the sexuality when erect) ...
lets confirm this experience, and identify that the pain comes from
the frenulum (nothing you say indicates partial phimosis, or a
phimotic ring --- when fully retracting and at the pain threshold, is
there any evidence of a tight ring often visible in an hour glass
shape round the shaft? if there is please tell me; if there is not
then ignore the question).
So, is it your experience during erection that this tight frenular
ridge underneath the glans is the cause of the discomfort and pain?
Touch this ridge ... is it painful? you could ask - how have you
avoided this pain during masturbation for so many years? - many men
avoid the pain by masturbating while pulling the foreskin forward ...
ask yourself how it would be without your hands controlling your
erection and foreskin (has your future wife ever played with you? -
you dont have to answer - just consider ... some men who are unaware
of the possibility of an operation simply ask their girl friends not
to touch them there - what a shame, the most sensitive area of the
erect penis becomes untouchable ... )
ask yourself how it would be without your hands controlling your
foreskin and keeping it forward ... during penetration especially, but
also just during intercourse when her vagina may grip the penis shaft
... I could take a step too wide and suggest your future wife is also
probably not very sexually experienced, who knows how the lubrication
might be and her degree of vaginal openness ... but probably she might
have some sort of nervousness ... and so this sounds like the sort of
situation where the foreskin is gripped tight and the frenulum is
suddenly pulled and rips, causing bleeding and pain and ruining first
intercourse ...
Excuse me for thinking too much but if maybe you have put off having
sex before marriage for religious reasons then you could consider
terms like untouchable impurity and then initiation confirmation ...
and really we needed the initiation before sexual activity and
fulfillment in love, even before we get to puberty and not like me at
43 and you at 28
I must say that unless there is something I have overlooked in your
surface descruption - your Urologist should definately have suggested
a frenuloplasty (see male-initiation.net/frenulum_treatment.html ).
Please stay cool calm and collected, do nothing hasty and rushed, but
please first get a truly accurate diagnosis - DO THIS YOURSELF - you
have already discovered that the urologists dosent understand erect
problems of the foreskin --- either that or go to another urologist or
surgeon - and then I believe you will want to start thinking about a
frenuloplasty, (see male-initiation.net/frenulum_treatment.html ).
excuse me for getting carried away but I quite enjoyed answering
keep in touch - silly questions dont annoy me
cheers
robin
>
>Dr. Stuart,
>I had a question for you. I am a 28 year male. I am getting married later
>this year. I have not had sexual contact as yet. The problem is that I
>experience difficulty (pain) in completely retracting my foreskin, when
>experiencing an erection. When the penis is flaccid, I am able to retract
>the foreskin completely. I read the material on 'Partial Phimosis' and
>'Frenulum Breve' on your website and thereafter approached a Urologist for
>his recommendation. I was told that my foreskin looks normal and that I may
>want to wait until my first sexual contact to see if I do indeed experience
>any difficulty. I was also given the option of going in for a circumcision,
>if I so desired. However, circumcision wasn't very strongly recommended.
>I am concerned that intercourse after marriage would be painful. If that
>turns out to be the case then it would be an embarassment in front of my
>partner. I am confused. What would you recommend?
>Thanks
>sav
