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FIRST LOVE

With all these skin misdevelopments, the final recognition of an anatomical problem often follows a conscious experience of pain or difficulty and this often occurs during a youth's first intimate relationships when making love or attempting to, because at this time they are unavoidable. At this time, the erection, penetration and ejaculation are not exclusively controlled by one`s own hands.

e.g.23 "During Masturbation I do not retract the foreskin, but in sexual intercourse the foreskin is pulled painfully back and gets stuck in the sulcus behind the glans. - ... I am unable to reach orgasm like this and what is more, have on occasions lost erection due to the pain ... this embarrassing and painful problem."

e.g.24 "Well, yes, of course, it is hindering my relationship. I have a girlfriend. I am 25 and she is 21 and we did not have much sexual intercourse until now. The problem is in fact the phimosis, it hurts, so it does not make much fun."

It is significant that in my interviewed sample group there were a number of cases of simple frenular rips which had healed spontaneously and only one of these had contacted his doctor. This is occurring at a far greater frequency than the medical profession realises. Though in itself, frenular rips are "no problem", the worrying question which must be asked is: why is this being allowed to happen so often, confusing the first experiences of young lovers,why is not prevented beforehand?

When the frenulum breve does not rip by intercourse, it will either hold the foreskin forward, or it will cause pain and tension and such pains often require young lovers to take a few days pause from any sexual activity.

Whereas phimosis is often incorrectly and inadequately described (e.g. Kinsey Institute: as an infection), frenulum breve is usually left undefined, simply not mentioned, a complete mystery even to the men themselves. Men describe the most vague symptoms, a pain underneath, a pain for a few days afterwards, pulls back further on top than underneath.

e.g.25 "I am 23 and didn't realise that the foreskin was meant to retract. I have a girlfriend and when we try to have intercourse it hurts me because it feels like the skin is pulling all the time."

e.g.26 Another man who was also 23 yrs. old "I have made love many times, but most of them I have felt pain, and I still get wounds in my penis, but not always. ... The thing is, in the beginning of my sexual relationships (RS. i.e. by penetration) I get pain in my frenulum,"

e.g.27 "Hi ... recently I ripped my frenulum breve when trying to have sex with my girlfriend. I had noticed considerable discomfort before this incident took place, but I just gave it time to heal before participating in any more sexual encounters with my girlfriend."

So we see that not only our young men, but also our young women are involved in this crazy development, this ommission in routine health prevention and care. How much longer will the first love experiences of our young people be distorted through this cultural neglect?

	The Passages to Manhood - 8 of 12