A good tale depends
On a happy end
And a moral would bore us
So lets have a chorus

In the beginning its said, the Chinese
In order to ease the digestion,
Would ask themselves "Why am I not?"
And other impossible questions
        By nature, the questions they'd chew
        Were never quite like this taboo

Many primitive tribes weren't so blessed
They were prone to the primal delusion
Of the local Medicine Man
Adopting a routine solution
        If asked why, he would always complain
        So, such matters were left unexplained

Then we Europeans set sail
Colonising the poles to the tropics
And when uncorrectable, with science and spectacles
We studied the native habits
        We'd humm and we'd put in our thumb
        But never quite pull out the plum

These days men are still having delusions
But psychologists have recorded
That as genital pain, is all in the brain
There are hundreds of ways to ignore it
        Once manhood caused much celebration
        Now we use general sedation

Soon, we'll be routinely checking
And UFOs will marvel our methods
No one will find in us, phimotic mindedness
Over pubescent deterrents
        And, In future no doc will just chop it
        There'll be brochures of cuts quite exotic

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